The Great Play Goes On!

6:32 am, Saturday November 28th, 2009

"And you may contribute a verse."

"That the great play goes on, and you may contribute a verse!"

"...What will your verse be?"

-The Dead Poet Society.

Hello, hello. It's early, and as often life has it, I am struck with creative sickness, compelled to write against all odds, including the hour and my stuffy nose, sore throat and massive list of tasks I must complete today.

For the past several weeks I have been terribly blessed, by whatever being I do not know, some great entity of the universe has granted me the highest of human pleasures; a companion, and best friend, a boyfriend.

He is everything to me right now, and his mere existence makes mine own worth every millisecond! I am so very proud to be his friend and girl now.

My mom returns home from her third sanction on Tuesday. So much has happened in the short 20 days she has been away, I don't know how I'm going to catch her up! I just can't wait to see her, another blessing, another thing to be thankful for.

My life so far, insignificant as it may seem, is making drastic changes left and right. These new turns of events and possibilities excite me, enrapture me in the rightness of everything around me. As Robin Williams said in my favorite movie, what will my verse be? I'd like to think I will contribute a verse, whether it be a husband and children, or I may write a book, crate a business, save a life, or all at the same time. Any number of wondrous things can happen at this point, and whether good or bad, I welcome them with open arms and open eyes.

I am ready for my future, world, bring it on!

PS; I have quit smoking, I've got 2 1/2 days so far!

Note To Self;

November 6th, 2009

Horoscope excerpt;

"Whether you are single or not, the planetary patterns have a good time with someone special in store for you, and if your day is spent at work, then this ray will light up the night."


Well horoscope, you were so right tonight. Note to self; never forget the amazing night you had.

Directions, Decisions & Daydreams

November 4th, 2009


So my mom went to jail for the third time today. I have to say, I didn't think I'd be as depressed this time. Boy was I wrong.

I haven't written in a long time now, I've been really living my life to the fullest, making my Senior year everything it should be.

I have a best friend, and he's amazing. Blair and I haven't really been speaking much... not that were mad at each other or anything, just were both wrapped up in our lives. These things happen I suppose.

I had pretty much the coolest Halloween ever, went to a scary event called scream forest, then to sonic, then the next day [actual Halloween] went trick or treating as a roman [sheet toga] and Caleb went as a Halloween present, a costume we made ourselves. It was incredible.

I feel kind of lost in a world of directions, decisions and daydreams.

I miss my mom.

Have You Ever Wonderd?

October 23rd, 2009


Have you ever wondered;

• What your friends and family would do if you died?
• What your funeral or memorial would be like?
• What would be running through your mind as you died?
• What lies beyond... beyond?

Well today was just one of those days. Yepp.

HIGH School Never Ends!

October 4th, 2009



High school, senior year, so far is freaking amazing, except for effin night school [gotta have it to graduate & walk]. I really love Greenhouse so far too, generally I'm just having a great year thus far.

There's always a million things on my mind. Right now it's that person, as usual, that I like and it's so hard not to just scream it out- I don't want to ruin things this time, so I'm trying to play it cool.

Last night was insane though, for reals.


I went to Blair's pretty late yesterday, to go to target with her and spend the night. I got her this courage ring and myself a tree of life necklace. Then we came back to her place and went around the corner to Jason & Erica's, where I said "Fuck it, it's Saturday night." and took my first- and only- ever GB hit. I haven't smoked in forever, and I will neeevvver take it from one of those again! I was so high so fast I passed the fuck out instantly, for about 20 minutes, and even after that I could barely walk, was hot and cold simultaneously, and craving brownies like nobody's business. I made it back to Blair's and woke up fine. We tooled around for a few hours, helped a friend take some pictures [of us, for his photogrophy stuff] and then he took me home.

Apparently thougfh, whilst I was stoned, at my house my dad was near to beating my mom, I hear tell it was pretty bad, but haven't acctually gotten to talk to her alone about it yet. Since I got home I've just been chillin and doing chores. I'm gonna do something fun this Friday,

hopefully it turns out to be a good night ;)

HOO-RAH!! Senior Year

September 10th, 2009


At Chesterfeild Technical Center, a certain teacher greets all the students with a hoo-RAH! and a fist bump each morning. This greeting really captures how I feel about this year, the last stretch, the end of, and beginning of, so many things. A huge chapter in my life is almost over, yet another is just starting, I'm so excited I could burst.

There are so many things going on right now..

So I won't bother today to record them. I feel like somje feelings can't be described, and should just remain fond memories, a faint giddyness I can't shake. These times are priceless beyond comparison. I will live every minute with enthusiasum and gratitude!

Restrictions [I ♥ Mehndi]

September 4th, 2009

My blog is being restricted for the time being, my boyfriends parents found it and since I'd like to continue posting, I've made it hidden for now, until their threat is gone.

I've really gotten in Henna/Mehndi body art recently, it's loads of fun and fairly cheap, too.

On today;

Since we did so much running up and down the road today I'll list first whee we went in what order, then the highlight of the day [ a bad highlight..]

• Woke up, realized I couldn't find birth certificate. Couldn't tell my dad he'd flip but had to try again for learner's today.
• Went with mom to program to screen.
• Went to grandma's to get money.
• Went to Library for map quest.
• Went to Vital Statistics in Richmond for new BC.
• Came back and failed test again :'[
• Came home.
• Took Rachel and Amanda to mall.
• Picked them up from mall.
• To0k Rachel to skate land.

So when we arrived at DMV, there was an older lady and a man outside with a big stand, holding signs with Obama's face, crudely drawn on with a Hitler mustache! I was extremely offended, and I told them this. Many people did, it's a wonder they didn't get shot, calling our nation's president a nazi/fascist and that he needed to drop dead! Awful, simply disgusting.

Well that's about it, Blair's tomorrow and school Tuesday.

Toodles!

My ? Has Been Answered!!

September 1st, 2009

With exactly one week until school I'm trying, as I've said, to get my life a little more neat and healthy, and just when I'm having a rotten day, The most wonderful thing happened! On Twitter I tried my luck at sending Jason Mraz a question for his weekly answers blog, and he answered mine! So here it is♥

iDiedTomorrow: Do you find old people interesting or annoying? Have you ever heard a really neat story from an older person, or a boring one? 



This is a very funny question and my answer is the former. To me, my elders are the most interesting people in the community. It is they who inadvertently laid the foundation for our current mission, good or bad. And while our elders may be slow to accept/practice new ideas, or be unable/uninterested in keeping up with technology’s advancement, this is no new problem. It’s evolution at work, generation by generation. Before you know it, you’ll someday be old and annoying to the newcomers – so be kind and interested now, for your own karma’s sake.

So that's my happy spot for the week :]

I'm Gonna Try [Beach Adventure]

August 31st


Well, I've been back from Virginia Beach for about two days, Rachel and I stole a LOT of stuff. However, I don't think I want to do it too much anymore, I got caught for the first time ever trying to steal some Aviators.

We got a little more tan, swam in the ocean and watch real surfers out on the hurricane induced waves. The ride there and the ride back with my Grandma was extremely stressful, she must be the single most annoying woman on the planet.

Well it's one week till school, I discovered this morning I've gained 20 lbs, I always do over the summer, and the birth control isn't helping.

I want to start living a more healthy life style, so here are some new things I'm trying.

• Cutting down smoking to 5 a day.
• Riding my bike 30-45 minutes a day.
• Eating only at designated eating times, cutting down portions and avoiding meat and fats as much as possible.
• Doing yoga in the morning [got a tape from goodwill, lol]
• Keep up with my livestrong.com account, a wonderful site for tracking all activities and consumption daily.
• Gonna do my homework every single day.
• Try to keep up with this blog more!
  

I See Dead People! Awesome!

August 22nd,




I haven't been on in soooo long because my laptop was loaded down with viruses, and even though they are now gone, my screen is horrible cracked on <--- this side of the screen. I have no idea what happened to it, it must have happened while it sat in Blair's floor, oh well. It's time for a new one anyways. Were going to Denny's soon, and I'm staying the night here at Blair's.

Some interesting things have happened to me recently, the most remarkable are my mini-paranormal investigations of my neighborhood and a local cemetery. I have picture proof of hundreds of orbs in my neighborhood and a possible ghost figure sitting on a tombstone at Blanford cemetery in Petersburg. Oh yeah, and a few pictures revealed my aura so I'll include that too. Another note, none of these pictures were edited in any way, I don't have or even know how to use photo shop! I enhanced them and wrote on one, that's all.

Right now I'm also trying out iDoser, I'll report later if it is effective. Since it's been a long time since my last post, I don't remember much. Here are the photos, enjoy and I'll see you next time! :]

I Fucking Hate Tomatoes

August 9th, 2009

Tomatoes. I hate them.

I've always hated them; their smell, their taste, their feel.. and now I have an even better reason for loathing them; my dad forced Rachel and I to frappe' 650 of them in a blender, bagged & frozen along with about 100 shucked corn and 2 bags of peppers. Ugh.

Other than that I've had a very good week, I've been hanging out with my delightful boyfriend John Looney aka John Lennon and I'm just so happy with him I could burst. I did have more to say.. hmm.

Ah yes, we had a surplus of hot money [don't ask] and went on a fantastic shopping spree, in which I got; a new bag, two new shirts, one pair of shorts, two Jason Mraz CD's, school supplies, and a box of energy mints. I also vigoursly cleaned and organized my room and got a new rug, all of which makes me extremely happy too.

Not long until school starts, I'm really excited for that!

Peace; Dani

Late Night Delirium

July 30th, 2009


I'm in a rambling mood. Thank god for auto spell check on here or else this would be completely illegible, my typing and vision AND perception are terrible at night. You know when you stay up really late and it's similar to being high? Not quite as great, but I just feel all these things at once like... dinosaurs. How did they piss? Do I have to piss right now? I think I do. Be right back.

I'm back, I went outside to smoke too, just a quick drag before my dad got out of the shower. I went into this cool pet shop today, they had rats for way cheaper than Petsmart does. I wonder if it should be said Pet's Mart or Pet Smart. Probably the latter. I watched American Pie also today, a weird movie. Oh! And my long-lost half sister Trisha contacted me yesterday, I'm really excited, I hope she can come up from NC to visit soon. You know what I hate? Acne. I fuggin' hate acne so much. I really hope the birth control kicks in soon to kick it's ass. So tired, blurry screen.. I wonder what tomorrow holds in store.

It was a good day.

-D-F!zzle

Iced Coffee & Cigarettes, Thunderstorms & Siamese Cats

July 28th, 2009


Well I did a few cool things today. I made homemade Salsa and Spaghetti sauce. Both turned out wonderfully, I was immensely proud of myself. I've mostly been thinking and cooking and smoking and writing. Just a bit ago it started thundering so I sat on my front porch with of course, iced coffee and a cig. My three cats, Pandora Ellie & Zach hung out with me. Zach is a Tonkinese, a similar breed to a Siamese. With each gentle flash of heat lightening it illuminated my road, it's such a surreal lighting and makes everything eerily beautiful and dreamlike. I'm currently working on a story, and I'm very tired so my blog will be cut short tonight. Peace & Love;

Danielle Renee

It's So Beautiful You Want To Cry

July 25th, 2009

Over the past week and a half I have seen and done a so many amazing things. I've experienced life in a way I feel few other people have, and I want to share in as much detail what I have done and try to describe these incredible feelings I've had.

The first event was MEAC, Middle Eastern Alateen Conference.

Well we ride all the way up to Front Royal, a long and uneventful drive into the foothills of Virginia. I am excited and nervous, anxious to meet new people. We arrive, I get out of the van and someone walks by. "Hi! What's your name?" he says to me. "Uhhh....Hi, I'm Danielle?" He goes "Danielle! I'm Daniel! Nice to meet you!" and I receive a warm hug. Wow. Not having been there one minute and I am already being greeted like this? Feeling at home already I easily started talking to everyone.

Then I met Cole Barnes. I was drawing a mushroom in chalk on the pavement, a dark skinned guy with a funny afro walks up, says hello, and asks if I'm a pot head. I said "Sure, I smoke. I've never done that before though." I gesture to the shroom and stand up, he also gives me a hug. Little did I know he was to become, very quickly, a dear close friend.

There were meetings and activities and free time and late nights and music... but the one absolute thing that stood out was a particular workshop. I am gazing unknowingly at my schedule, I ask Cole "What is this 'Unconditional Love Workshop' about?" he smiles at me and says "You'll see. It will change your life." Huh, now I'm thinking to myself; who can I squeeze this secret out of? And you know what? I asked everyone, and not a single person who had been there before would tell me. So naturally when it came time for the UCL workshop, I was very excited and nervous to see what would happen.

We enter a dimly lit auditorium, the whole 55 of us kids, the board at the front on the stage with speakers and a stereo. They tell us to line up, then give us numbers; 1 & 2. 1's go to one side, 2's to the other. Now my mind is reeling. Group 1, the group I'm in, goes to the middle of the room and everyone stands spaced out, eyes closes and arms at your sides. Slow, meaningful music begins. Group 2, anonymous and also silent walk among us. I am standing with eyes closed, when I receive my first hug. After that, it was hug after hug after hug, and unless you've actually done this, you can't begin to imagine why I cried so hard that day. Everyone did, it was so incredible. I will never forget it as long as I live. Getting so much love without having to give anything in return.. that's what it's all about. And since this, I hve been practicing UC Love every single day.
After the switching back and forth of the groups, hugging and being hugged, we all talked and shared about how we felt. One girl said these words; "I never thought I'd actually see something so beautiful it made me want to cry."

The dance that night was really fun, except I had been wearing a nicotine patch and threw up a bunch of water, thus making my group leave an hour early :[

The next day we said our goodbyes and came home, a very long and boring ride back left me completely exhausted and ready to sleep for a few days. Only my mom's B-day we went to see Harry Potter instead of going to the meetings. It wasn't very good. Oh well.

Well, then I basically decided, hey! I'm gonna go to Warped Tour with Lizzy. So I did. Cole and a few other people from MEAC were there, and some others I knew. We had a wonderful time, walking around, spending loads of cash, hearing the multiple bands play, and smoking jusssst a little weed ;3
The next day we went to the beach nearby. I haven't seen the ocean in such a long time... it was very surreal for me. The vastness of it.. the sheer volume of the waves crashing and the water pulling on your feet, I've never felt more at home. It really firmed my decision to move to So Cal, or even VA Beach. The boardwalk was pretty cool too, and I attempted body surfing. We ate at The Jewish Mother, and I finally got home at about 10:00 pm.

And the whole car ride home, watching the sky and clouds, all the colors and the music blaring in my ears, I did cry a little, just a little. Just because it was so damn beautiful.
I love my life.

Peace.

-Danielle

Alateen Adventures & Looney Toones

July 15th, 2009
My momma's B-day! 46!



This entry is about what I'm going to be doing soon, and about today, and about yesterday. In that order.So!

On Friday, 12:00 pm I am leaving for Front Royal, Virginia to a conference called MEAC [Middle Eastern Alateen Conference.. I think] and I'll be there until Sunday. It suppose to be really fun, lots to do and lots of other kids my age, and up, and down. There's going to be a dance from like 11:00 pm on Saturday to 2:00 am, a Rave, which I am extremely excited about, my sister and I are bring glow sticks and dressing to impress! Now, today;

Well it's my mommy's birthday, we celebrated by playing Mario Party 5 basically all day [she adores that game] && buying a delicious array of cheesecake... oh, such a wicked indulgence♥

Then just a bit ago we went up the road and across the highway to see if there was a different Alateen meeting at Ivey Methodist, but alas there was none. We playing on the playground when, holy sheep! My sister spots my grandma's car turning onto our little road. We panic, thinking she saw us and run silly and screaming behind a bush, and then they send me home to see if she saw us. I got here, she didn't, she left. The end.

Now yesterday/ the day before♥♥

On the 13th, I started dating my good friend John Looney, he's a super sweet and a real hippie at heart, much like myself. He came over and we watched Saw 5 and well that's about it, but I'm supposed to be going to a Hooka Bar in Richmond with him next week, so that sounds like uber fun. :]

Basically, I'm grateful for a so-far easy going summer and I anticipate all the good things seeming to head my way. Peace out!

Flirting With Sunlight- My Mini Journey

July 10th


So I'm in the car on the way to my Grandmother's river cottage on the Rappohanok river, we've been going here every summer since I was 1 month old, at my parents wedding on my grandpa's old boat, the Queen Bea. So, point is, it's July and the sun aught to prime today. We'll be passing through Mechanicsville, hometown of my favorite performer and idol, Jason Mraz. We pass the high school he went to and everything, for a fanatic like me it's very thrilling. I'm currently listening to his tunes, zooming down the highway and decked out in skimpy bikini and peace-loving garb. I always find it interesting the people you see on the road, as I've said before, their expressions and car styles and such. I would do my wave-and-enlighten routine, but with my grandmother driving she may get distracted and kill us. My grandma just announced she wants to write a book, which is a very interesting thing for her to say, kind of out of character. But I told her since she can't use a computer very well, I'd gladly dictate it for her. I think that would be very interesting and fun. We just passed through Richmond, observing the beautiful skyline. It's hard to think of a city as it really is, so full of crime and grime, when it looks so amazing from afar. There are planes from the local airport going over us, were now jamming to Hellogoodbye and chatting about getting burned int he sun, so exciting. I wish I could go to the ocean, I want to learn how to surf very bad now. Blair promised to try and learn with me, how sexy we'll be in our wetsuits and riding the waves with all the macho beach boys! That's all for now, I'll write another paragraph as we continue on this mini-journey. Over and out!

We have now arrived at the river cottage, and I've already been in the water and back. I'd like to briefly describe the rest of the journey here. We passed through Mechanicsville, passing Lee-Davis High School, and I told my grandma again that's where Jason Mraz went to school. I also pointed out what I think to be his Dad's house, she asked "You want me to stop there on the way back?" I just about blushed myself to death, NO! I cried, that would be too creepy fan girl of me, and I know I'm not that kind if fan. However, my imagination of course took it and ran, creating every single scenario that could possibly lead me to meeting him. Pulling up and asking to use the bathroom? Breaking down in front of his house? Would this incredible man be there, chillin' with his dad and I get to glimpse him? It was all just such wild, silly scenes I am prone to. My Grandma droned on and on and on until we finally arrived, Rachel and I unpacked quickly and headed to the peir to tan, then we swam briefly and showered, now I'm typing this and eating my lunch of Oreos. I feel so at peace here, if I never make it to California, maybe a little cottage here would be a fine replacement. Maybe. My day dreams and updates will continue, I will be back with more stories a little later on. There's no connection or phone service here, so I'm basically free of distractions, except the newest edition satellite TV. Mmmmmmusic on the top' will be my only salvation in the long restless night to come. Tonight as soon as it gets dark, I plan to go out to the water and swim by myself, gazing at the stars and bio-luminescent jelly fish the light the night. Peace out!

We went back out very quickly after the last entry, this time swimming and getting extremely burnt. I mean...ow, it's been a while, but I'm happy. I consider it a precious souvenir. Rachel and I took a walk down the beach as the sun began sinking into the horizon, we already dressed and walking slowly down the long beach at the end of the cottages, eyes stealing glances at the sun, flirting with him, blushing red, literally, in his glow. I felt much connection spiritually to this tiny beach, strewn with drift wood and edged by a clay back and a field of corn, lots of dangerous Virginia creeper and poison oak, shells and sand. We took fabulous pictures and had a really great sister to sister chat. We came back after a bit, ate dinner, watched tv, went back out with the neighbors for a bit, and now I'm back yet again. I'm glad to be here, and glad to be going home tomorrow. By the time I actually post this, the whole experience will already be over, I'll be at home in the air, playing oblivion and nursing my raw skin. These are the days of my life, I will record and cherish them, much as my grandmother is planning to do with her life's memories and triumphs. Life is full of... of so many things! There is much to be grateful for, and I am grateful for the ability to BE grateful, I hope someone somewhere feels me. Ttyl.


July 11th


After creating a pillow fortress in our attic last night, Rach and I went to sleep and awoke this morning around nine, I myself stiff and tired, but at least a little less sun burnt. I ate some breakfast, smoked two cigarettes, walked the beach and kissed the water goodbye. We'll be leaving in about an hour, I am very tired and can't wait to get home. I crawled across the attic floor to reach this computer, the little pink clock in front of me is ticking with a loud, monotonous cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck... reminding me now I have to make haste and do the dishes, clean up, and bring my things downstairs. Pardon'.

My back hurts, my skin is tight and hot, and I'm sitting in the car waiting for lift off, towards home and a nice long smoke. My thoughts are constantly shifting to someone... I want to see them. I can't wait to go home.
Our last little escapade was to go over to Wheelan's marine across the road and scoop up jellyfish with a net, placing them in a bucket. Inside the boat marina, me Rach, Emily, Ariel and Julia, and Mocha the dog ran around frantically on tiny paths over jelly infested water, when we all heard a very loud splash. Everyone thought one of us had fallen in, but it ended up being Mocha, we were still terrified, so we led him around the marina and onto land.

My grandmother just got in the car, we are ready to go.

July 12th, Home again

I'm re reading and posting this now, I've been resting and cleaning today. I want to see someone tomorrow, anyone. I'm a little tired of sunbathing for now, although swimming in Buffy's pool could be fun. I'll be tuning in for more of my adventures... when I have some.

Au Natural [Ouija Board!]

July 6th, 2009

Hellooo all, it's been a while. I've been having a little better days, first of all I'm currently [as in right at this moment] dying my hair back to brown, my mousy natural color, as to never have to dye it again :] Aaand, a few days ago, I made my own Ouija board and tried it out, scarily enough it worked. I asked the spirit a couple things, found I'm reincarnated, I lived in Isreal, and Blair was my friend in a few past lives. Also, the spirit said her name was Dzam, and she died in 1928. I'm fairly convinced in it's authenticity, but my sister who did it with me, isn't, she thinks I pushed it. Oh well, I probably won't be doing it again for a long time, just to be extra safe.

Other than that, not much is going on. I went to Yorktown beach on the 4th, my dad dived for oysters and we had seafood. I'm having Alyssa over today, Blair tomorrow, and Looney Wednsday, ha ha. That's about it, peace.

Smokin' In The Girls Room [Panic! At The Witching Hour]

June 30th, 2009


I will tell this story exactly as it happened, word for word.


I wake up at 3:00 am on the dot, thirsty and wanting to smoke to get back to sleep. I use my phone for light and do, so, then laying back down. I hear the faucet run in the bathroom. Panic. My dad opens my door.

Him; Did you just now turn off your light?
Me; ..No, I think someone called me..[pretending to be groggy]
Him; Who the fuck is calling you at 3? [why the fuck are you up? I think]
Me; ...I dunno..didn't look.
Him; Well turn off your phone before bed.
He leaves the room.
I lie in a panic still, knowing he smelled smoke.
He comes back in and flips on the light.
Him; [sniff]
He walks over to mt empty soda cans and sniffs them.
I am totally freaking out but pretend to be calm, he came so close to my ashtray.
Me; What are you doing..?
Him; What's that smell?
Me; I dunno.....the Rat cage?
He sniffs the rage cage and folds his arms.
A minute passes, racing heart.
Him; Yeah, I guess that's it.
He flips off the light and closes my door.

And I sat on the verge of a mental breakdown for two hours before I finally got back to sleep. When he left at 8:30 am after bitching my mom and sister out for an hour, I hid everything he could discover out of my room; my empty liquor bottles went to Brittany's, my bowl went to Rachel's room, all my lighter's went to my mom, and my ashtray was dumped washed and put away.

NO more smoking in my room for me.

The end.

Litterally Out Of Food

June 29th, 2009

Were hoping food stamps arn;t cut back this coming month, or else we may seriously starve. There is, as of tonight, no food in my home. Tomorrow morning, I go hungry or pimp myself out for food.

Oh well. I played Oblivion literally all day today.

That's it, my life sucks.

-D

Don't Wanna Die On The 4th Of July

June 26th, 2009


So I wanted to post this last night when I found out, but since I had just finished my previous post I decided against it. Apparently, North Korea is fed up with our troops pushing them around from South Korea's borders, and as a US ship shadowed a NK destroyer, they shouted a threat to send a long rang nuclear missile to Hawaii, and the Pentagon has shrugged it off as 'silliness'. Well that's just great, I mean, would if they slammed D.C instead? It wouldn't hit me, but I'd get slapped with radiation and die, along with everyone I know and love. Bummer. I relayed my concern to my parents last night; Mom says maybe we could hide out in my grandma's basement- the flaw is there's no running water of any kind down there, say for the washer. Dad said I should stop being stupid, not to stress over it, if I die I die. Nasty-pig-asshole-jerk-face. Well, either way, we have 12 days to get the hell out of Virginia. I voted either Florida, temporarily, or like fucking Alaska. Who's going to bother us up there?

Worried,

Danielle

The Passing Of The Gloved One

About 38 minutes ago I got the news that MJ had passed away of cardiac arrest. I was in the living room, and at first I thought my sister was joking. My dad, of course being an asshole, goes 'probably did too much crack'. My mom was shocked as I, now unable to enjoy the movie we had been watching, thought set on Michael. Although I am way too young to truely appreciate his life's work in music, regardless of his chrages, I've always admired him. I have his album, Thriller, and my mom was a HUGE fan when she was young. She acctually got to go to his concert when she was about my age, said he pranced right down her row, right up next to her while he sang, and that it was one of the most amazing shows she's ever been to.

My condolences to his family and fans, and to people who insist on slander and hurtful words,

FUCK YOU.

He was amazing, and everyone has had problems. So shut up and be grateful for what he gave history, a legacy of fantastic music that no one will ever be able to completely top.

Sincerely, Danielle

Redneck Undercover [Feeling Low]

June 24th, 2009

IIII won't worry my life awayyyyy...


What an fantastically rotten birthday. I'm feeling incredibly ditched. I thought I'd give people a little time, you know, to at least call today. No such luck. I was too far away from Earth yesterday to realize how suckish it was, really. My sister left for the night, no HB greeting. Dad said it once, the scarfed my brownies. Brittany and Amanda did call and come over, which made me stop crying at least. Blair didn't call, along with quite a few others. Ky called today with a HB, Buffy wished me HB three days in a row, ha ha. NO texts, a few scare messages on Myspace. I guess it was mostly Rachel's behavior that had me down, and the fact that Blair up and went to Florida, without telling me or calling or anything. I mean, all my exes remembered and not her? Jeez.

As for today, my sister was even more bitch-fest. She finally got home at 4:30 and didn't say a word until she screamed in my and my mom's face about an open can in her room. ..What?

I felt very redneck today. I'm 17 now, chillin at the pool smokin', drinkin', listening to country and riding home in the back of a huge red truck, sun beating down and smile on my face [until Rachel's glare broke my spirit.] Oh well.

I thought this year would be different... that someone would make it really special for me, other than my mom, gosh bless her soul.

Blowin' through the jazz band in my minddd...

17 Forever

June 22nd, 2009


My birthday is at exactly 7:30 am tomorrow. Today is Monday, and I was originally born on a Tuesday, 17 years ago tomorrow. It's such a strange feeling, I've never felt as young as I am, I always feel much older. I had a good day today, I went to the movies with Skylar, and my sister and her boyfriend, Year One. It was good for the first half of the movie, but got pretty boring second half. Kinda wish I had seen Angels & Demons instead. I don't have much to say today.. I feel aloof and distant from everything around me right now; but I recognize this mood. To a Cancer like myself, this is inspiration time, the time when we retreat within ourselves, into our world of pure imagination and create things, write stories or songs or poetry. Right now I feel like weaving a dream land, solely for myself to read over and over and wish it were true. If you are a Cancer, you will understand this feeling I'm sure. I don't like cake much, so Instead I'm making brownies and homemade ice cream in the morning. I'd like to go to Buffy's pool and indulge in another common pleasure of the astrological crab, swimming and soaking up the sun. My mo got me a present today, a shirt from Target with designs themed in the Woodstock concert, 69. It's so cute, I'll be wearing it tomorrow. It's comforting to know that at least one day out of the year, it's all about me. I feel like I give everything I can all year round, but for one day, I can get something back. It makes me teary-eyed to even know that the people I care for care back as much as I know they do.

Well, I guess I had plenty to say after all.

17 for now and forever,

Danielle

PS; I hope you have a wonderful birthday too, Jason Mraz

[Twin] Roadside Prophets

June 17th, 2009


Today my sister and I, and one of her friends, took pizza boxes and markers, making giant peace and love signs. We then took the signs to the side of the road at Allison's house, sat on her wooden fence, and waved the signs at passing traffic, wielding peace fingers and big grins. Several people peace-signed us back, or smiled widely. Some just stared in retarded red-necked disbelief- "Lookit' dem hippie girls, mmm hmm look like twins dem girls do." That what I imagine they were thinking. But the cool part was that one lady went by, and then doubled back and pulled up in the driveway. She was an art college student, photographer type girl and asked to take our picture for her project, said she had been looking for something this "Profoundly unique" for some time. We posed happily and were abundantly proud of ourselves. That what it's all about.


Dynamic Duo





Going Green & All Smiles,

Dani

Dear Jason Mraz,

June 16th, 2009


Dear Jason Mraz,

I wonder sometimes if your reading this blog, I'm about 98% sure you are not, so the 2 remaining percent decided to write this, just to quiet my rising curiosity. You see, either we are astrologically aligned to be similar, sharing the same birthday and all, or something like that, I'm just not sure! I'm not shy about putting my name and/or information on the internet, it doesn't scare me. So I'll say that I live in close proximity to Mechanicsville, I go to Thomas Dale and I'll be a senior next year, whoo-hoo. The similarities between us are a little...scary sometimes.

But the point of this post is to say, whether you are listening or not, that we post very similar posts, quite accidentally, almost every few days. I posted the McDonald's "I'm Yours" video, then you did. I posted a blog about the lifting up individual people to help make our world a happier place, and so did you. Every time this happens, I wonder; is this real?

Don't take me as an obsessed fan girl or faker, because everything I type here is 100% true, honest, pure me speaking my mind. I thoroughly enjoy your music, your blogs, your actions. Combined together they create an unstoppable solar-powered force, named Jason, showing me everyday what the world could be like, what the world is like. Underneath the grime of greasy politicians, ignorance of pig-heads, and greed of the human populace in general; The world is a beautiful place, and I and undeniably grateful to you for opening up the part of me that understands that.

Summary; Your amazing, and you know it. It would be incredible if you were reading this, and if not, I'm glad were riding the same wave of gratitude and love for all things. It makes me proud to share your birthday.

Peace



Sincerely, Danielle

Pissing For Peace

June 12th, 2009

“There are many ways of protesting for peace. Do everything for peace. Piss for peace or smile for peace, or go to school for peace or don’t go to school for peace. Whatever you do, just do it for peace.”- John Winston Ono Lennon

And that's just it, do it for peace, for love and unification of our world. For gratitude and understanding, everyday I try my best to make a difference in the people around me.

Examples; Today when riding to the bank with my mom, I saw a truck driver next to us who looked a little stressed out. So, I somehow got his attention and smiled at him, immediately perking him up, he smiled back. I thought that would be the end of it, but as we went down the road I kept seeing him, so I kept smiling, and him back. Finally we stopped at a light at the same time, and both of our windows were down so we talked for about a minute. I told him I was Danielle and his name was Jamal [he was a young black guy] and he told me and my mom about someone behind us he almost hit just before we started talking, all because she was trying her damnedest to get around him. She could have died, and it would have been this poor fellow's fault, so that was why he had looked so frazzled. We said goodbye and parted ways, leaving me with a very content feeling, like I had really accomplished something, no matter how small.

And that's just one story! There have been countless times I feel like I have brightened a stranger's day, and I urge other's to try it! Wave to people next to you on the highway, sincerely thank your cashier at the grocery store, or pick up something someone has dropped, anything! Be creative! Be spontaneous! Help one another!

It helps, believe me.

Peace!

Hopping Fences

June 10th, 2009


This morning I did not have a first block exam, only the second one. I got up and dressed at 4:30 regardless, went to Brittany's and slept for an hour 1/2, then snuck home to see if my dad had flow the coop yet.

I sneak swiftly up behind the house across the street from mine, hiding behind it and trying to see who was home. My view was blocked by someone's car, so I ran to a nearby bush... a large bush, noticing my mom's car was gone. Well damn that doesn't tell me if he's home or not! I run again into my yard, on the side of the house, peering carefully over the privacy fence, and yet again I cannot see if his motorcycle is there. I jump the tall fences with much effort to keep quiet, peek around the corner and VIOLA! He is gone, so I stride thankfully into the house. My mom then comes home, I arrive at school 40 minutes later than I was supposed to, breeze through my Driver's Ed exam, and walk out.

Angela comes with and my mom picks us up, we go home. Rach comes home, only to leave again for Allison's. We throw trash out of the window as we go, to make room in our dingy little car. Yes, we littered. I haven't done it in a long time and don't usually allow it, today was an exception. It was a rather wicked indulgence, ha ha. So, Rach is gone and we go to Petsmart, I buy a rat. He's my birthday present from my mom, his name is Tucker Maxx [yes, like the author of I Hope The Serve Beer In Hell, a very good and insanely funny book. He's so sweet, I love him to death already.

An otherwise full last day of school has left me exashted and in pain, mostly because I'm close to starting my you-know-what. Thankfully I'll be able to start the pill soon, and won't have to deal with it, acne, or babies for a looooong while.

Toodles!

The Last Full Day Of Junior Year

June 5th, 2009


I walked from my house, solemnly, through the rain towards my bus stop. Umbrella in one hand, cigarette in the other, feet and legs drenched in the murky water, I thought to myself, is this really the last full day? It was not as jovial as I had imagined. After thoroughly wiping myself off with tissues and signing a thank you card for my fabulous bus driver, I arrive at school, and already things aren't nearly as exciting as they were meant to be. I had to miss the awesome, school wide game of clue being played in my first period to do math remediation, then only Alyssa showed to 3rd, my favorite class. Japanese was alright, pretty goofy as usual. And I finished off the day with helping Shannon paint a giant mural in a teacher's classroom, but even that wasn't spectacular in any way. The rain is so depressing... it puts a serious damper on everything around me. I really just enjoy a sunny day, a warm breeze.. even a storm is more momentous than just dull, flat, boring, monotonous rain!

I'm currently talking with my new friend, Trev, on aim. He's a very nice guy, and I'm really pleased to get to know someone as interesting and similar to myself as he. Overall, it was an okay day.

I REALLY HAVE TO PEE SO GOODNIGHT!!!!

Best "I'm Yours" Ever, McDonalds Edition

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Hey, Cute AE Boxers

June 3rd, 2009

20 days until I'm 17

I will miss a lot of things of this school year. Mostly I will miss History class, I just now am getting to know everyone in there well and really having a good time, and now it's almost over. Sigh.

This will be a short post because I'm tired, but I wanted to write down what happened today.

'That guy' Skylar, Alyssa, Tim, and my were playing cards in there, and I was poking Sky's belly, he dared me to undo his belt so I did. Then he unzipped his fly and dropped his pants, no lie, and sat in his boxers for like 30 minutes before he started pulling them up, making me re-do the belt when the teacher finally saw. It looked really bad because I was sitting and he was standing... ha ha, we all laughed sooooo hard.

Then I left early and went to the pool again, I really had a good time and got some more sunburn<3

And finally I met this cool guy who lives in CA named Trevor, he's really nice and I'm glad we met [via myspace].

Goodnight!

I Believe [A Poem]

i believe in second chances
breathless kisses; and high school dances
i believe in eternal life
bloody knife; and endless strife
i believe in rainy days
married gays; and better ways
i believe in real late nights
petty fights; and making rights
i believe in boundless dreams
broken seams; and pregnant teens.

everything i see is real
to much terror to reveal
darkened shadows, hollowed ground
it wont give up, a frightening sound

i believe in open minds
amazing finds; and changing lives
i believe in springtime flowers
twenty four hours; and baby showers
i believe in peace on earth
you'll never see how much it's worth

it's worth it just to be alive.
for all the things that we do strive
im feeling awfully hip and jive
just sing my song, let flow the rhymes
keep it going all our lives

Pearly Whites

May 26th, 2009


Today was the big day, I got my braces off exactly 3 1/2 years after I got them. I had a pretty fucked up mouth.

But they're so beautiful!

I feel completely new, fresh and mature. It's as if my body is finally catching up with my mind, melding into one, older, more unified person. The outside is starting to more closely resemble the inside, and despite a few shitty things about today, I maintained a positive and radiant attitude. Meaning I feel fucking great!

My mood may be attributed to many things; the imminent summer approaching, clean white & strait teeth to show off, the fact that for about a week I've drank nothing but water, the good solid and dear friends I have, my mom coming home in two days. Sigh, yes, life is getting pretty good right about now. The only question is, what must I sacrafice to have a great summer?

Forever the inquirer,
Danielle

Agony & Irony

May 25th, 2009

I spend a lot of time wishing I am better. I wish I could be chill and jive like Jason Mraz; I wish I could be spontaneous and adventurous like other people, other people who seem not suffer the consequences? I always suffer, I always pay for whatever I do. Without careful steps and agonizingly tedious covering up, I do nothing with it either being discovered, or ying-yang'd back in my face with some kind of instant karma. It's not even that what I do is wrong, it's like when I have a wonderful time somewhere, I have to suffer thrice the depression before I can have any kind of happiness again. Does anyone understand what I'm saying? I want what others have, and just being grateful for the things I do have doesn't seem to satisfy. Am I being greedy? I'd like to think not, when I know from solid facts that I am lacking some kind of molecule that allows our race to thrive and be merry. Merriment! I am pretty good at that, but why can't it ever last? It seems to drag on forever in some induviduals lives, when in others it seems normal that they, and I, do not keep it. I know I can have great things, do great things, yet I feel like an unmerciful force is keeping them out of reach, letting my finger tips brush the edges of delight, only to be yanked out of sight again and again. I seems an awful representation of teenage life, I feel like I may be being hypocritical, and ungrateful. But I somehow know, deep down, it isn't me! I'm not to blame! I just know it, I know I will get my just reward someday, and when I do, those responsible for my unwarrented unhappiness will also get what they desurve.

Having said all that, I think I'll go do something fun.

-Danielle

An Incredible Night At The National

May 20th, 2009


I just have to write all this down, I'm so full of joy I'm afraid I I'll explode! Last night I went to the Saving Abel concert, I went to school, came home and got ready, then went to Alyssa's around 4:30 so her mom couldn't talk to my dad. We ate dinner, which was miraculous. We went to pick up Skylar around 6:30, going on to the concert, us all full of jitters.

Her mom stayed in the area but didn't come in or anything. We go in, we had a little time to kill, and then at 8:00 the first band came on, Syndicate, a heavy metal band who for their genre, were very good. Good warm up. Marty and PJ ended up coming, thank god, and we met up. They jumped in the mosh pit and had a blast. The second band, Taddy Porter, was very, very good, and I'm going to check them out later on.

By that time we all had really loosened up, and I was having a blast, seriously. Then about 9:50 Saving Abel came on but we were supposed to leave at 10:00 so we left ten minutes after that, thus missing most of the show. After we left Marty caught one of their drumsticks, hurray!

We then went to McDonald's, and when Skylar ordered, they asked him if he wanted grilled or crispy, he asked for grilled, and they say "Oh we don't have grilled." He was like, then why did you ask? It was pretty funny. The three boys hit it off pretty well, and I'm really just feeling the after affects of an amazing night.

However, I came home, went with my sister to the doctor to get blood drawn, then got home and she totally killed my buzz by freaking out on me, then threatened to tell my dad all my secrets [smoking, boys, drugs, etc.] and stormed out. Sigh, I guess all good things come to an end.

Peace.

Dancin' To The Jailhouse Rock

May 18th, 2009


Well, a lot has happened over the past few days. I got extremely depressed when my mom went into jail about 5 days ago, got extremely drunk at Jon's house, came home, fooled my dad [which was all but too easy]. I got banned from Brittany's house for taking one of her brother's beers.. which was super dumb, yes, but all's well that ends well, whatever that means.

I've been in charge of cooking, and I tried to make Chili my own way, but my dad is impossible to shop with, thus making me skimp on ingredients and substitute a lot, which I hated. Then we made me change the way I did the Chili so it turned out not so good.. ah but I retaliated, yes! I made Hawaiian Chicken.. in my room! I mixed all the ingredients in the safety of my room, put them in the pan with the chicken and everything while he was outside, and put it in as he came in. Sneaky Dani wins :]

We went to visit my mom in jail on Saturday, my dad actually bitched her out, in jail, and we hardly got to talk to her, it was awful. But we saw her today and it was much better, she gets out on the 29th.

I get my braces off in one week, I'm so excited!!

My cat Zac brought me a baby bunny and a vole, half dead, and I nursed the vole back to health and released it [after it bit me really hard, ow!] and the bunny was paralized so it died :'[

My friend Alyssa got some free tickets to see Saving Abel tomorrow night at the National, so that is pretty much all I'm thinking about, our mutual friend Skyler is driving. I had to tell my dad he was her 19 year old brother, and that her mom was going. Ha, lies. It will be really fun and I'm really, really stoked.

I'm really happy with my hair now.. it's a beautiful, natural color that is totally me, and it's very obedient nowadays, making me a happy Dani. Also, my tan is improving greatly, with weekly tan sessions and high quality, stolen tanning lotion.

Basically, I'm getting happier and happier as summertime approaches, and I just can;t wait to be...

17 forever.

Peace, nigs.

Alcohol And Percicets Don't Mix

May 13th, 2009

This morning my mom left for her 15 day sanction. I woke up very depressed, I'm surprised I even made it to school. I drank a beer at Brittany's, took a percicet at school, drank some Venom energy drink, ate three donuts, drank a red bull, ate spagetti and egg salad and onion, and after a long, difficult day I have an awful stomach ache and want nothing more than to go to sleep and never, ever wake up. I love and miss her so much already.

-Danielle

The Hair Mishap

May 10th, 2009

Mother's Day


Today my mom had me save her from my nasty pig of a father by waking me up [subtlety by knocking on the wall] so she wouldn't have to have sex with him. I already bought her stuff last weekend, so I guess you could say that was her gift, ha ha.

After going to Wal-mart and buying dark blonde hair dye, I came home and dyed it.

Oh my god. I was a grandma. It turned out GREY! Grey! I was appalled. But instead of having a panic attack I said, no worries, I'll try again later. So, me and my sister climbed our shed's roof at 4:30 to tan. Lol, it was pretty funny, but we did get some sun and had a good chat.

My mom wanted me to be happy, bless her heart, so she bought me two more dark blonde dyes in hopes that would do it. So I just finished doing that and it's still a funny color, but it's not nearly as hideous, and tomorrow I will be buying my natural brown colored dye, 2 boxes because I have loads of hair, and returning my hair to it's original state. I'm actually pretty glad, it makes me feel more mature, expecially with my 17th birthday coming up, I'm trying to keep up with the growth.

Soon to be brunette,
Danielle

The Morning After

May 9th, 2009


This morning I woke up to hear my dad seriously bitching at my mom, he got very loud and got in her face, as I sat listening nervously for more than an hour. He had already had her up for 2 hours before that.. Every time I have a nice day, it seems the morning after things just go seriously downhill. Yin and Yang, I suppose, and I know life is this way, that's how it works, but I wish my mom didn't have to suffer in the process.

I cleaned my room very well, fed Chico a grape, and did laundry. After that happened, I canceled hanging out with a friend and sulked for a while. After watching a but of The Princess Diaries, I wanted to get fully dressed and beautified, so I did and then my sister came in, and she's been criticizing me every move I make, like my outfits don't match, I'm turning prep, don't like my makeup.

Yesterday her little friend, Amanda, decided to text Ky and tell him I was cheating on him. I was so mad I could strangle her, mostly because I didn't and it was very hurtful and deceitful of her to do so. I'm still restraining myself from going down there and beating her scrawny ass, but oh well I guess. She's not worth my worry.

Also, very sadly I found out my friend Brittany's kitten was killed yesterday by her dog, and they're to have him put down, because he attacked everyone and has tasted human blood, and being a Pitt he's not going to stop, because it's happened before. It was all her brother Roger could do not to shoot him, the way Spazz died was so horrible... especially since Brittany saw the whole thing. I still feel really bad about it...

I may be able to go and see my favorite, Jason Mraz, this summer for a possible birthday pressie, he's coming to DC and NC for his summer tour, and that's super exciting for me.

That's about it. I'm going to do other things now, like take some meds and rest. What a dull day..

Peace out.

Flowers And Beanies

April 8th, 2009

Today I did a lot of things that I'm very, very proud of. This morning, I didn't brush my hair at all. Not a bit. Messy as it was, I got several comments to it's uniqueness and awsome-nity. I talked to and held conversations with several random people in the halls, people I've seen hundreds of times and never thought to say a word. A kind little hello, and bam! You could meet your new BFF, you never know.

I participated in gym, Tennis, and did fairly well; Despite the mosquito bites now tracing my color-faded legs. I need to tan again soon.

On the bus, I sang ever song I knew loud so others would join me, and when the bus was stopped I leaned out the window and started talking to a man next to the bus in traffic, and wished him a nice weekend. You see? For that, he probably had a much better day. Even if I scared him, he'll go home to his wife and say "Honey, this strange little blonde girl talked to me in traffic today." "Really dear? What did she say?" "She asked me my name and how my day was, then gave me a peace sign and wished me a nice day." "...Huh." "Kids these days [smile]"

...Okay, maybe that didn't happen. But maybe it DID. I personally felt great after a full day of random kindness.

Got home, mama bought my pet chipmunk, Chico, some bedding, food, water bottle and edible log house. He thouroughly enjoyed being rid of the old newspaper flooring, and proceeded to eat all the juicy grapes I got him.

Then, as the first picture shows, I made a chain of flowers, and I'm gicing it to my mom for mother's day :]

Now I'm at my neighbors, I took some pictures.. obviously, and I rassled with Sally.

Proof;

Peace!

Wild Side

May 7th, 2009

Today I went back to school, Nothing amazing there.. cept I had my albuteral inhaler and it made the day giddy and laughable! I thoroughly enjoyed the entire experience of returning the the high school jungle after several days in captivity. Time to let the animal loose once and a while.


Me and Blair, web cam, very late a while back.

I feel like I may have a wild side. I've glimpsed it a few times over the past few years, occasionally at parties or even school; a gust of courage against relentless black persons making fun of me; A whim to do interpretative dancing on the lunch tables; The nerve to call a teacher a dumb whore to their face; Even to purposely make a scene in a public area, such as Walmart, in order to draw unnecessary attention to myself. These are just a few of my favorite, random things to do. I sometimes wish I was a guy, I'd be cooler for doing these things.

It's like this; guy takes off shirt and runs around whooping in parking lot = funny as hell, cool guy, etc. GIRL takes off shirt and runs around = she's a slut, what's she on? Lol look at her boobs, and who put her up to this?

I want to choose to do random things for my own entertainment and not be judged for it. That's be rad.

I've said enough, Goodnight.

I Now Pronounce Thee 'Sick As A Bitch'

May 5th, 2009


Today I was at home, drifting in and out of consciousness and trying not to sleep the whole time. I am currently very sick, no I do not have swine flu, and I was doped up on medicine 2 times the normal strength. I played a little Fallout 3 and Oblivion, I didn't eat much and slept quite a bit. I don't want to go to school tomorrow either.. it's going to be hell doing SOL's in this condition.

After lounging all day long, but before Alateen, I proposed to my BFF, Brittany with a ring I bought her from walmart. But, she ended up being allergic to nickel and not being able to war it :'[ Oh well.

I wish life was like Oblivion, like medieval times, cept magical powers and such existed. I'd be a vampire battle mage living in the realm of madness, doing mind altering drugs and painting and singing. I'd kill in secret for money and have like, 20 kids. My marriage would be all celtic and spiritual; My house would be a huge mansion on the sea shore. My dad would have died in some great war, and my mom would live with me, and we would have grummite eggs and greenmote wine for breakfast every day.

Oh, the wonders of cough medicine.

At Alateen my old friend Robert got his 30 days chip in AA, and I got a free 2 liter of Dr.Pepper, and a very cute kitty came to play with us. That's about it.

-Doped up and Dying, Dani

April Showers Brought May Flowers

May 1st, 2009

Today;

I decided since I didn't feel good this morning I'd fake being even more sick to stay out. My dad bought it and I went to lay back down, then he wanted to go to the school to get my work, so I decided to go in so he wouldn't find out my real grades. Went in, thought I had Friday Focus but ended up not, made it past lunch to Japanese but I felt really bad, and my mom surprise came and got me, so I got to come home and chill out which was nice, because I did sincerely feel rotten, still do right now. It's like a haze is just all around my head and in my eyes, it sucks.

And oh my gosh, as soon as I walked in the door coming back from my neighbor's house for a bit, I asked my dad if I could hang out with two friends tomorrow for a few hours, and I told him all the information and then I said they could come get me because they drive, to save him and my mom a trip, and he flipped out and was like 'blah blah blah there's a law against that' and 'these cocky ass kids are gonna get you killed blah blah' and etc. And all I did was be nice agree, then he was like 'sorry i'm an asshole I over reacted' and then he went right back to bitching! i swear, its enough to make me wanna move in with Red! Augh!

Major events coming up;

May 14th; Brittany's 17th B-day
May 26th; Braces come off
June 2nd; Get retainer
June 3rd; Nathaneal's 17th B-day
June 8th; First Gynecologist appointment ever D;
June 15th- Mom's 46th B-day
June 16th; Last day of school
June 23rd; My 17th B-day :]

So there's a lot going on. Sun day were supposed to be going to a flee market in Richmond, and even though it'll be with my dad, it's very exciting for me, as I seriously love thrift shopping for clothes and accesories. Toodles.

-Daniiiii

The Tree Of Life

April 29th, 2009

I'm actually writing this a day before I'm posting it, because my internet is down and I need to vent. My mom told my dad about the swine flu thing that's going around, and he decided to make a huge, non existent deal out of it. First he started wailing on my sister and decided to force her to eat meat again, then got on my case for getting her started on it a whole fucking year ago, then more on me for my grades, then back to Rach, all of this over and over and over. I felt like passing out, like I was just a tiny spark inside myself, drifting in and out of existence. Then it got even worse, because Rach Mama and I were talking about him after he went outside, but he stopped at the door and listened in, then came back in and yelled at us all some more. I mean, good god. He's all like "I should have beat your ass for showing her that video" and "Do you want her to catch swine flu and die because of you? How would you feel? Go ahead, don't take ecchinasia [sp?] and die, see if I care. One less mouth to feed." Yes, my own, biological dad said all that to us today, just because my mom mentioned something in the fucking news.

In other, more interesting news, I doodled a tree on my calf and foot today, and I am seriously in love with it. I want it to be my first tattoo, the tree and it's branches on the front of my leg and the roots twisting down and across my foot, ending almost between my toes. I want it to represent the tree of life, my way of showing how I am rooted to mother earth. It's a very deep thing and I feel like I just have to get it done, you know? Almost like it's already there, like it's a part of me- I felt creative on my part, although I'm sure someone somewhere has probably done it before.

I am very tired, and even though I know I have more to say, I'm going to leave it at that. Goodnight, adieu, aloha, sweet dreams.

-Dee.Ay.En.Eye.Ee.Elle.Elle.Ee.
(D A N I E L L E)

Hide The Rum [Be Yourself]

April 27th, 2009

It's been a while since I was able to get on last, my connection was temporarily down and I've been very busy. I'm on to converse about my recent activities and some moral beliefs I'm setting into place.

My Japanese teacher sent home a letter about my D+, and my dad got to it before I could, so I was in trouble. I now have to make up all the work I didn't do, and have them signed and what not. He bitched me out for nearly 2 hours on two separate occasions, and my mother for 1 hour a totally different time. One minute he tells me he could care less about my grades, and the next it's the fucking Apocalypse. Anyways, I now how to craftily edit my report card to avoid retribution for my two F's, and I already begged all of my teacher's not to call him, I was very honest.

I beat two of the three main quests in Oblivion this week, which was seriously satisfying. Feeling accomplished, I now actually desire to do more physical fun, like riding my bike again and cleaning my room :]

This past weekend we sprayed for roaches [disgusting, I know] and left for the day for Henricus Park again, this time me with Ky and Rach with Abby. When I was getting mt room ready for my dad to come in and spray, I had to hide my liquor bottle collection somewhere else, along with my incognito asktray and cig stash. My dad wasn't there with us for the first hour we were, then he joined us after spraying.. He liked Ky well enough even though he doesn't know were dating. I like Ky...a lot. Kyiros Giovanni Courton... It's so fun to type that out. I also got a good but of sun by taking advantage of the recent 90 degree weather streak, as soon it will relapse into rain again.

Ah summertime,
it's heartbeat slowly quickens,
washing off the grey
and replacing it with day.


I wrote that on the spot just now. I think it sounds like a Haiku, maybe I'll edit it later on.

Now on to my heretical thoughts;

On Body;

I want to try and stope smoking, or at the very least slow down. It's become such an escape for me, a way to find a minute of peace in an otherwise hectic life. But I want to stay healthy, young and beautiful as long as possible, and it really is a bad habit.

Breasts;

I'll just be honest, they're not cute anymore. I was once over weight, and when I lost it, they just don't look good anymore, and that's sad seeing as I'm far too young for a boob job or anything. I'll have to find a natural alternitave for that somehow.

Waist/Skin;

Same deal, my waist is thinner but my stomach isn't tone, so I should try to work it out with some crunches soons, as well as try and build some strength in my arms and legs, if I ever hope to surf one day. Not bad for bkini's, either. My skin is riddled with stretch marks from when I developed instantaniously in the 4th grade. They're not as noticeable anymore, but sometimes I get self consious about them. My skin tone is improving with each outdoors activity, so at least I'm making some progress :]

Hair;

I'm conflicted on whether to go back to my natural mousy brown shade, stay bleach blonde, or maybe go a darker shade of blonde. Brown is natural and true, which is what I'm trying to be now, but blonde shades fit my personality better and since it's already bleached, it'd be harder to go back.

Personality;

As I said, I want to be more and more myself as I get older. It's hard for me because I get made fun of so often, and I take critisisim too seriously. I care way too much about what others think, and when I see a style or a tidbit of someone else I like, I automatically emulate them, but I want to kick that habit as well.

I want to grow up; beautiful, health, strong in mind and body. I want to be free more than anything, and I want to look good, and feel good, when I am ;}

Yours truely,

-A Teenager

"Oh How I Hate Thee"

April 21st, 2009

My day started out fun, laughter and jokes pretty much all day at school. It started raining again last block, and some friends made me a little down, so this day didn't end so swell. However, where I got home, my mom had written a poem about how much she hates my dad, and I've gotta say; I fucking love her to death.

Warning; All things said about my dad in this peom are completely true, and my own mother really did write this ♥

"Oh How I Hate Thee" By Joan

Oh how I hate thee

Let me count the ways..

Could it be your never ending

World of knowledge on any and all subjects?

Maybe your constant advice

On any given subject imaginable

Or perhaps your hour speeches

On what a normal sex drive is?

Or constantly wanting a blow-job

24-7!

Let's not forget the constant picking of your nose

And your lovely half hour dumps

What about the way you pick the dead

Skin off your toes every night

And let the dog lick them

Leaving your foot soup out for days

Until it grows mold!

The lovely way you walk around naked every morning

How about your grandio sense of self and

Your excessive need for admiration

I guess one of your best qualities

Are the ways you show your arrogance

And how you manipulate everyone around you

It's wonderful the way you over exagerate

All of your acheivements and how preoccupied

You are with yourself!

You are the most fucked up person

I've ever known

I hate your fucking guts

And hope you drop dead

Fucker.

Needless to say, my mom is my role model for lifeee.

Going to Alateen tonight with Ky :)

-Dani T.

Sleeping To Dream

April 19th, 2009



Last night I had two fantastic dreams. I don't recall what order they were in,but here's what I can remember;


One was about Jason Mraz, that I had met his dad in the army somehow and he took me to his house, except I was a full grown woman, and introduced me to Jason, who tried to kiss me at first sight before his dad stopped him. He tried to tell me he has some kind of disorder that made him do that, and then we started playing a virtual reality video game that we were inside of, which was like a mix of oblivion and a digital world, yeah... weird.


The second was me meeting the ever-hot Will Summers and kind of hanging out with him, how he very slowly warmed up to me and eventually fell in love with me, just little sweet things like how at first, even though he was very quiet at some party in my grandmas basement we were having, when everyone left that room he was laying on the ground and asked me to lay with him, and we just chatted, and other things. Somehow we ended up stranded in a jungle type place, where he got hurt and disappeared, and then re appeared like a year later and I don't remember after that. The jungle thing probably came from the fact that I watched Jurassic Park last night, and I have no idea from where he popped up. Oh well.


Today I mainly did body-maintenance. I didn't answer my phone much, I just wanted a relaxing, phone free day to go in with my fabulous weekend. I got a long hot shower, shaved my legs, realized I got a very nice tan yesterday, did a face mask thing, did a foot soak and lotion think, re painted my fingers and toes, lotioned my face and legs, and blow dryed and straitened my hair. I think I'll look pretty good tomorrow, and maybe I'll even wear a cute skirt or something. I can't wait to get my hair cut...I like my hair long, but at the same time, I need a change and I need it to be more easy to manage. I also watched Crossroads with Brittany spears for the first time today, and I was pretty good. It made me want to move to California even more. I'm putting together a plan...


And one last thing that occured to me today. If I really make my dream of moving come true, and I'm gonna try, then this coming summer will be the last I ever spend in Virginia. That's a collassal thought in itself... I almost dread the thought of it. I will miss this place, but in my heart I know what I need to do.

Goodnight.

I Made An Ashtray Out Of Mud

April 18th, 2009

I went to my grandmother's river cottage on the Rappohanok yesterday after school, and got back today. It's 90 miles from my house, which isn't all that bad. I passed through Mechanicsville, home town of my favorite celeb, and even passed the high school he attended :) It made me smile, to say the least.


We got there, and man it was beautiful, ran to the water and just stared, Amanda hadn't seen anything like it before, as much as she's seen, and she'd never even been fishing! So, we dug up some worms and threw in, but no luck on either day we tried. We walked up the long beach at the end of the point, drawing in the sand and smoking, since we had to be away from my grandma. Amanda has a form of cancer that is causing her to go blind, and aside from that she is a brilliant artist and creative person, like myself, so when we found a huge deposit of clay, we made ask trays and brought them home, along with some river sand and little colored pebbles and shells.


The downer of the whole trip was that it was supposed to be just the three of us, me Grandmama and Amanda, but my evil aunts and their husbands showed up unexpectedly, and since my family is the outcast group and they all hate us, I got ignored and looked down on a lot, but I didn't let it phase me too bad, I wouldn't let my sourpuss fake ass brady bunch of a family ruin my time. No pictures for the internet, just fond memories and a little sun.

Yours truely, Danielle

Clepto-Mania

April 16th, 2009


I stole 5 shirts and a pair of shorts from goodwill today. I like clothes, and I need summer stuff. I haven't written in a while... I've been pretty busy. I want to say that I am really falling for Kairos Giovanni Courton, and that he is the peanut butter to my jelly.


I steal a lot... some say it's a bad thing, and I suppose it is. I don't get many new things, but I do realize I do it often, and it's quite addicting. I guess it's just too damn easy.


Not long until school is out now.. I excited for summer and stoked about being a senior next year, as long as I pass enough classes this year. My dream of moving to California is becoming so real and vibrant, it's like a technicolor wonderland materialized in my brain. Not that Cali is like that, that's not what I'm saying at all, but more that I finally have a real goal and I'm going to make it happen. That's the beautiful part.


I'm going to my grandmother's river cottage after school tomorrow with my friend Amanda. I'm happy about that too... so I'll write about it when I return.

Love, Miss Danielle Renee Temple

Eating At 3:00 In The Morning

April 13th, 2009


I have no idea what things I have forgotten to write down the past few days. I in all honestly forget about what I do from one minute to the next. Last night I went to Blair's, kind of a last two days of break blow out, she dyed my roots for me and half drowned me in the bath tub.. Then Jamie and Josh came over, and we watched TV till 1:00 then snuck the boys out [they were suppose to leave at midnight]

Now I'm at home, trippin on some pain meds and feeling so good, because I'm setting this chill atmosphere with some Jason tunes. Anyone who knows me knows I can't resist turning him up when were smoking up, or drinking down, or whatever. Like he says; open up your mind. Even if you don't do mind altering drugs, you just got to see the things around you. The world is big, no matter how small.

Peace! And Happy Earth Day ♥

-Danielle Renee

Guess What? Chicken Butt.

April 9th, 2009

Finally, a blog I didn't forget to write. Mainly because I'm wired on energy mints and adrenaline spillout from today, can't sleep!. So, from top to bottom, here's what I did;

• Had a creepy sex dream about my ex Austin [I died a little]
• Woke up and went to Pamplin Civil War Historical Park with my grandma.
• Went back to her house for food.
• Went shopping with her and bought/stole---
• New cute sun hat- purchased
• Super skinny leapord print blue jeans- purchased
• Marvel heroes tee shirt- stole
• Black and white flip flops- purchased
• Blue plaid jacket- stole

On stealing;

I am pretty poor to be honest, and I occasionally steal for survival [meaning food and drink] and when I outgrow or outshrink my clothes, I sometime take those too. But only if I can't afford them, I buy as much as possible. When I one day aquire a job, I will stop.

Then I;

• Came home and went to neighbors for a while.
• Came back home and ran to store again.
• Bought my dog a chicken squeky toy.
• Came home and watched Shrek 3 and watched Coffee [dog] destroy toy.
• Came in here ans got online :D

Now it's 9:34, and I'm chatting with dear Jamie and new Cali friend [met on Gaia last night] Adrian. It was a very enojyable and mild day, and I hope the rest of my week stays this relaxed.

DANI; DO NOT FORGET! DO YOU FUCKING ENGLISH PRJECT BEFORE TUESDAY!

-Dani :P

Word Of The Day; Bullshit

April 7th [continued] & April 8th, 2009

A little backround info;

My mom was once a drug addict, but she has been clean for 7 months alchohol and 12 months cocaine. She is still in a drug rehad program called Dual Treatment Track [DTT] where she is drug screened 3 days of the week and every other weekend [each time she 'level's up' in her book she gets less days to go in, so far she's gotten two off] so she can stay clean and sober. Well, she also drinks a shit-ton of soda.

Well, after the extreeeemely long morning with my dad [getting my birth certificate and waiting for him to finish his computer class] I come home and my mom and sister are all upset, and they proceed to tell me and my dad that my mom's pee was too diluted, meaning they think she was trying to flush her system, and now she has a sanction and will possibly serve jail time for something she didn't even do. Needless to say I was extemely upset, so I cried a lot, of course, and it was gernerally justan awful day. I'll write more, later, because I'm in a rush to get to the store. Peace,

Dani

Spring Break Day ???

April 5th, 6th, and 7th, 2009

Well I didn't write the other day, I just kept forgetting. I honestly can't remember a single thing I did on the 5th, and yesterday all I did of any signifigance was play Oblivion like, all day long. Today, however, I am currently writing to you from a YMCA lounge in Richmond. What am I doing here? My dad is taking an introduction to the computer class. Well, they have free wireless here and it's nice to have such a strong connection for once, I can acctually get things I want done on this laptop, I don't have to wait for a song or video to load, and this is a very comfy couch :)

The reason I came with him all the way up here today is that we are going to Vital Statistics to get a new birth certificate for me, so I can finally take my learner's permit exam, seeing as I'll be 17 in 2 months it's about damn time.

In other news, my friend Caleb is a phototographer/web designer/tee shirt maker? He's buying and dying his own cotton V-necks and he wants to sell them, and he asked me last night to be the female model for the site he's setting up. We talked for a long time on the phone, it was nice to chat with him, because before that we hadn't been all that close. So, the male model is my former-senior crush Morgan, and I think it will be a lot of fun :)

Last thing I wanted to log is that I had like, 2 dreams in a row with Caleb in it, and I don't remember the second, but the first was pretty funny so I'll write it down like a mini-story.

We were riding on the bus to Thomas Dale, sitting across from one another. We were both wearing very colorful hoodies, and he looks over at me and asked "Do you want to turn back time for a day?" so I said "Sure, how?" He replies "Turn your jacket inside out with me." So we did, and we morphed into like, 5 year younger selves. "Oh my god! I didn't think that would work!" he exclaimed. "It's just for a day right...?" I asked precautiously. "Uhh I acctually have no idea." He admitted, so we then arrived at Carver Middle, since it was five years earlier, and parted way in an intensely crowded hallway. It was really hard to find my first period class, and when I finally got there my current History teacher, Ms. Pace was my teacher, so I told her "Your going to be my teacher again in 5 years." and she got mad and sent me to the office, and on my way to school slowly turned into Ukrops, and all thew employees were dressed up like broadway and started a store musical, whipping me all around and all over, and then it got REALLY weird and all the meat products in the store started planning to attack and take over, jumping out at the employees and chasing me to the school/store office, where I jumped outside the doors and it was the Southpark Mall parking lot, where the dream ended.

Wow.

-Peace?

Spring Break Day 2; Fun In The Sun

April 4th 2009,

Surprisingly, after such a fantastic day I just feel empty and depressed. I guess I'm getting ready to [menstrate! augh!] so maybe that's why.

We went to Henricus Park again with Blair and Brittany, Ky was supposed to go but he never answered his phone, oh well. We'll be hanging out tomorrow. I wore a bikini top and little shirts and got loads of sun, I'm very pleased with that. We caught about six small fish and put them in my bathtub when we got home :D They're dead now, and we'll proably eat them tomorrow, but it was fun while it lasted.

We took a lot of pictures so when Blair uploads them I'll proably put some on here tomorrow. I'm extremely tired from walking and stuff for like, 5 hours.

I am so insanely happy the sun is back. I missed it, I needed it. I needed this break like an addict needs it's drug, it was devestating not to have it. It's here now, summer just peeking around the celestial corner, and I couldn't be more content with my life right now if I tried. I just appreciate the small, good, things, dismiss the bad and keep on going, day to day, living my life to the fullest.

I am alive! -Dani

Marvel Marathon- Spring Break Day 1

April 3rd, 2009

A slow and boring day at school, ending with Spring Break Balloons all over the parking lot and I come home to a beautiful, sunny spring day. I've been watching all the marvel movies I own, currently on Ironman [my personal favorite]. In order I have seen; Catwoman, Batman Begins, Spiderman 1 2 3, Hulk, The Dark Knight, Xmen 1 2 3, and now Ironman. Yaaay. Brittany [BFF] staying the night, and I realllly have to clean my room bad.

My dad should be gone suring the day alot this break, so I'm hopeing to get either drunk, high, or laid at least once, just to be totally honest. Ha ha. Well, that's all for this day. Hopeing to have some fun,

-Danielle

Holly Is Hollying In Her Holly

April 2nd, 2009

Well, it was a slow and sleepy day overall. I am in the mood to state the obvious. My room is still messy, I should be cleaning up this coming spring break. My hair is so... unmanageable all the time. I still have that corsage from the Ring Dance. There are so many people in need around the world right now. Toilets flush the other way in the southern hemisphere.

So anyways,

In my gym class we have this ongoing joke about that girl I once mentioned, Holly Parker, a mildly-retarded bitch who faught my friend Erika 10 days ago. Angela, Amber, Meagan and me all make fun of her, don't ask me why. I guess you could call it immature, I won't lie, but I feel like we should get it all out of our system now before we become serious respectable working stiffs.

ANYWAYS,

We replace words with Holly, and it's pretty funny, it;s hard to explain. It all started with Shannon Norris last year when she made fun of her for being poor and weird, saying things like HOLLY IS...RICH?! I DON'T THINK SO! And that she floats because she can't afford gravity and yada yada yada. You get it. So, we call everyone and everything Holly for an hour and a half every other day, just because. Even the teachers, it's so funny, because they really don't get it. Were like HOLLY YOU! WHAT THE HOLLY? FLOAT HOLLY FLOAT! THERE'S A HOLLY IN MY HOLLY. And so on.

It's for reals spring now, not too cold and not hot enough. I may be going to my grandmother's cottage over break, possibly, and if I do I will definately be sun bathing, swimming, and chilling like hell. Ha ha, but if that happens I won't have internet for about two days. I'm pretty excited, it's a little beach village on the Rappohanok river that my family has owned for years now, hopefully we can make the trip without my dad :)

Well, not much else to say.

More obvious things;

I'm listening to my profile songs, The Cars and Jason Mraz and Matt Nathanson & more. I need to shave my legs. My dad is snoring really loud. Tomorrows friday!

Peace.

Thou Shalt Produce Spit Balls

March 31st & April 1st 2009

The 10 Commandments of Japanese Class;

1. Thou shalt rip up worksheets in plain veiw of sensei, and throw them away.

2. Thou shalt sniff through the nose any sugar products normally consumed through mouth.

3. Thou shalt not speak Japanese when directed to do so, you will go to hell.

4. Thou shalt produce spit balls of paper anf attempt to block out light over Pope Morgan's desk.

5. Thou shalt laugh when sensei is determined to PMS and bitch at us.

6. Thou shalt be sent from the class to the hall and be proclaimed saint of mischeif.

7. Thou shalt say religous figures names at inappropriate times, for this is SENSEI'S SENTANCE.

8. Thou shalt make fun of retards such as Peaks, Xavier, Anthony, and Ryan constantly.

9. Thou shalt find the rainbow wherever it may appear next.

10. Thou shalt create more inside jokes for future entertainment.

Well, that was from today. I'd like to back up and go over yesterday first.

Un eventful school day, not bad or good. Came time to go to Alateen and I was going to bring Ky but when I got to his house, he answered the door and he was extra-baked [sounds delicious right?] so he couldn't leave, but his mom said I could stay there so I skipped out on last night's meeting and proceeded to his room, where we sat, talked, played guitar, scribbled, and made out for 2 1/2 hours. Bliss. Pure Bliss.

Then today,

you see, I like Japan. I like the Japanese language [Nihon wa suki desu. Soushite Nihongo wa maa maa suki desu yo] BUT; I do not like Japanese class, as far as the learning part goes. Now, we few punk ass kids in the front corner of the room feel the same way; Pope Morgan, Saint Dani [me], Saint Caleb, and Shannon [soon to be saint]. So we have devised various methods of entertainment and harrassment [on sensei's part] for that hour and a half we exist there. Sensei is a womanly little Japanese man who is nerdy and annoying as hell. The commandments are basically self explainatory.

On Ky;

I really like him. I feel like..he's just the thing I needed. I mean, he's not perfect by any means. But he's got the right stuff, the things I need especially right now, in a guy, to help me get along smoother.

• He doesn't smother me with calls or excessive lovey dovey.
• He's foward but not too foward.
• He accepts me for me and we happen to be pretty similar.
• He's real hot. :)
• He's not stupid; meaning he can match my intelligence level nicely.
• He play guitar very well! ♥
• He can acctually kiss.
• His parents arn't intimidating or hostile.
• He likes animals like me.

We just get each other, it's that simple. And I am very happy.

-Love always, Hathair!