Don't Wanna Die On The 4th Of July

June 26th, 2009


So I wanted to post this last night when I found out, but since I had just finished my previous post I decided against it. Apparently, North Korea is fed up with our troops pushing them around from South Korea's borders, and as a US ship shadowed a NK destroyer, they shouted a threat to send a long rang nuclear missile to Hawaii, and the Pentagon has shrugged it off as 'silliness'. Well that's just great, I mean, would if they slammed D.C instead? It wouldn't hit me, but I'd get slapped with radiation and die, along with everyone I know and love. Bummer. I relayed my concern to my parents last night; Mom says maybe we could hide out in my grandma's basement- the flaw is there's no running water of any kind down there, say for the washer. Dad said I should stop being stupid, not to stress over it, if I die I die. Nasty-pig-asshole-jerk-face. Well, either way, we have 12 days to get the hell out of Virginia. I voted either Florida, temporarily, or like fucking Alaska. Who's going to bother us up there?

Worried,

Danielle

Dancin' To The Jailhouse Rock

May 18th, 2009


Well, a lot has happened over the past few days. I got extremely depressed when my mom went into jail about 5 days ago, got extremely drunk at Jon's house, came home, fooled my dad [which was all but too easy]. I got banned from Brittany's house for taking one of her brother's beers.. which was super dumb, yes, but all's well that ends well, whatever that means.

I've been in charge of cooking, and I tried to make Chili my own way, but my dad is impossible to shop with, thus making me skimp on ingredients and substitute a lot, which I hated. Then we made me change the way I did the Chili so it turned out not so good.. ah but I retaliated, yes! I made Hawaiian Chicken.. in my room! I mixed all the ingredients in the safety of my room, put them in the pan with the chicken and everything while he was outside, and put it in as he came in. Sneaky Dani wins :]

We went to visit my mom in jail on Saturday, my dad actually bitched her out, in jail, and we hardly got to talk to her, it was awful. But we saw her today and it was much better, she gets out on the 29th.

I get my braces off in one week, I'm so excited!!

My cat Zac brought me a baby bunny and a vole, half dead, and I nursed the vole back to health and released it [after it bit me really hard, ow!] and the bunny was paralized so it died :'[

My friend Alyssa got some free tickets to see Saving Abel tomorrow night at the National, so that is pretty much all I'm thinking about, our mutual friend Skyler is driving. I had to tell my dad he was her 19 year old brother, and that her mom was going. Ha, lies. It will be really fun and I'm really, really stoked.

I'm really happy with my hair now.. it's a beautiful, natural color that is totally me, and it's very obedient nowadays, making me a happy Dani. Also, my tan is improving greatly, with weekly tan sessions and high quality, stolen tanning lotion.

Basically, I'm getting happier and happier as summertime approaches, and I just can;t wait to be...

17 forever.

Peace, nigs.

The Morning After

May 9th, 2009


This morning I woke up to hear my dad seriously bitching at my mom, he got very loud and got in her face, as I sat listening nervously for more than an hour. He had already had her up for 2 hours before that.. Every time I have a nice day, it seems the morning after things just go seriously downhill. Yin and Yang, I suppose, and I know life is this way, that's how it works, but I wish my mom didn't have to suffer in the process.

I cleaned my room very well, fed Chico a grape, and did laundry. After that happened, I canceled hanging out with a friend and sulked for a while. After watching a but of The Princess Diaries, I wanted to get fully dressed and beautified, so I did and then my sister came in, and she's been criticizing me every move I make, like my outfits don't match, I'm turning prep, don't like my makeup.

Yesterday her little friend, Amanda, decided to text Ky and tell him I was cheating on him. I was so mad I could strangle her, mostly because I didn't and it was very hurtful and deceitful of her to do so. I'm still restraining myself from going down there and beating her scrawny ass, but oh well I guess. She's not worth my worry.

Also, very sadly I found out my friend Brittany's kitten was killed yesterday by her dog, and they're to have him put down, because he attacked everyone and has tasted human blood, and being a Pitt he's not going to stop, because it's happened before. It was all her brother Roger could do not to shoot him, the way Spazz died was so horrible... especially since Brittany saw the whole thing. I still feel really bad about it...

I may be able to go and see my favorite, Jason Mraz, this summer for a possible birthday pressie, he's coming to DC and NC for his summer tour, and that's super exciting for me.

That's about it. I'm going to do other things now, like take some meds and rest. What a dull day..

Peace out.

The Tree Of Life

April 29th, 2009

I'm actually writing this a day before I'm posting it, because my internet is down and I need to vent. My mom told my dad about the swine flu thing that's going around, and he decided to make a huge, non existent deal out of it. First he started wailing on my sister and decided to force her to eat meat again, then got on my case for getting her started on it a whole fucking year ago, then more on me for my grades, then back to Rach, all of this over and over and over. I felt like passing out, like I was just a tiny spark inside myself, drifting in and out of existence. Then it got even worse, because Rach Mama and I were talking about him after he went outside, but he stopped at the door and listened in, then came back in and yelled at us all some more. I mean, good god. He's all like "I should have beat your ass for showing her that video" and "Do you want her to catch swine flu and die because of you? How would you feel? Go ahead, don't take ecchinasia [sp?] and die, see if I care. One less mouth to feed." Yes, my own, biological dad said all that to us today, just because my mom mentioned something in the fucking news.

In other, more interesting news, I doodled a tree on my calf and foot today, and I am seriously in love with it. I want it to be my first tattoo, the tree and it's branches on the front of my leg and the roots twisting down and across my foot, ending almost between my toes. I want it to represent the tree of life, my way of showing how I am rooted to mother earth. It's a very deep thing and I feel like I just have to get it done, you know? Almost like it's already there, like it's a part of me- I felt creative on my part, although I'm sure someone somewhere has probably done it before.

I am very tired, and even though I know I have more to say, I'm going to leave it at that. Goodnight, adieu, aloha, sweet dreams.

-Dee.Ay.En.Eye.Ee.Elle.Elle.Ee.
(D A N I E L L E)

"Oh How I Hate Thee"

April 21st, 2009

My day started out fun, laughter and jokes pretty much all day at school. It started raining again last block, and some friends made me a little down, so this day didn't end so swell. However, where I got home, my mom had written a poem about how much she hates my dad, and I've gotta say; I fucking love her to death.

Warning; All things said about my dad in this peom are completely true, and my own mother really did write this ♥

"Oh How I Hate Thee" By Joan

Oh how I hate thee

Let me count the ways..

Could it be your never ending

World of knowledge on any and all subjects?

Maybe your constant advice

On any given subject imaginable

Or perhaps your hour speeches

On what a normal sex drive is?

Or constantly wanting a blow-job

24-7!

Let's not forget the constant picking of your nose

And your lovely half hour dumps

What about the way you pick the dead

Skin off your toes every night

And let the dog lick them

Leaving your foot soup out for days

Until it grows mold!

The lovely way you walk around naked every morning

How about your grandio sense of self and

Your excessive need for admiration

I guess one of your best qualities

Are the ways you show your arrogance

And how you manipulate everyone around you

It's wonderful the way you over exagerate

All of your acheivements and how preoccupied

You are with yourself!

You are the most fucked up person

I've ever known

I hate your fucking guts

And hope you drop dead

Fucker.

Needless to say, my mom is my role model for lifeee.

Going to Alateen tonight with Ky :)

-Dani T.

I Believe In Yesterday

March 29th & 30th 2009

Well, I'll start this blog with yesterday's fun since I didn't write last night [you'll see why soon]. I ended up going to Henricus [sp?] Park with my family, and we really had lots of fun, just walking around and fishing and we saw lots of turtles, hawks, buzzards, tiny frogs, a groundhog, a heron, geese, ducks, a snake, fish, and dogs :]

We ran into the local man whore, Paco [Taylor] while we were there, and my 2nd grade techer Miss DiSanto, and then we came home and my dad left for Manassass, VA. So since he was out of the way, Rachel and I were allowed to each have one person over for a while. I choose Ky, my crush and she had Abby, her new BFF.

My horiscope said I'd meet the person who set my heart on fire today.

Boy was it ever right!

So they both came over and me and Ky got really drunk [on Joose] and watched Eurotrip. Well, I am seriously crushing now, and I'm so happy.

BUT.

Today was not so good. Well, it started out good, I had a great day at school, but as soon as I got on the bus, what I like to call the Yin-Yang effect took place [good day = bad day] and my dad called, he wanted to talk to my mom. Well, I was on the bus so when I walked in I got her to call him back. He's been fired for, yes it's true, wearing a hoodie on the job. It was cold and blustery and he has a severve degenerative neck conditon that requires him to keep it warm in order to work and be pain free. Now he's stuck in north,northn,north Virginia, when his truck is in Ashland and we are here. Our little clanker-car would not make it that far, they won't carry him back, and no one will let us borrow their vehicles. So, he's at this very moment hitch-hiking to Ashland to drive home. Jesus.

More on Ky;

I just want to say he's amazing, and this already feels different than my lest several boyfriends for a lot of reasons;

• He's cuter for one
• He isn't so damn shy, like all the others
• He definatly on the same page of intelligence as me, which is very good
• He's a gooood kisser ;]
• He doesn't have a problem with my smoking or drinking, something the others just couldn't accept.
• We're very similar in likes and ditastes
• He understands my home situation
• Andd he understands my commitment fear ._.;

So, in conclusion I will be writing later tonight in a sparate post, and gosh, I just feel so much better now.. kind of.

-Till Later, -Hathair

Drunken Lament

March 23rd, 2009

I've come to rely on this blog more than I expected. It's a good opptunity to vent and get out all my thoughts, I don't feel so invisible if I write on this everyday. Another passing thought that dawned on me, is that this, right now, is the only March 23rd 2009 that will ever exist. Wow, it just makes me want to make every day special, you know? Well, here's my today.

Got to school, had to see Jared coddling his ugly girlfriend like she's some precious stone. They do it every single morning, same spot, same time. I understand but..it get's a little annoying. I got a lot of school work today, so I'll be working my mental buttocks to the bone this week trying to pass for once. Well, I had some left over Passionfruit Parrot Bay from the weekend so I had brought it to school [yes I know, I'm dumb but I had to get rid of it somehow, lest my dad discover it]. Well I was trying to draw a high five in Art, and a lot of people made fun of it and said it looked more like praying, so I ripped it up and I felt pretty bad. Even cried a little, but I didn't let anyone see. So I say to myself, hmm, what do I have that will make it go away?

2 bottles of smuggles juices later, I stagger out to the bus loop, ranting on and on about not wanting to go home, and dealing with a massive stomach ache, enduced from chugging the shit too quickly without eating. No one could give me a ride today so I ride the bus, then get home to find my dad home again, unfortunately. Mama and I devise an escape plan to Food Lion so we can relax and I can smoke [it's so rough not being able to light up after 6 hours without], then I came home and played Oblivion for a few hours. When I finally decided to go over to my neighbors to do some homework type stuff, well I just got back, and it's 8:45 pm. I got some new pictures on there and I am temporarily internet-satisfied.

When I'm drunk I tend to be real honest. I usually call everybody up and just tell them; hey, this is how I fucking feel about you, whether it be that I hate them or I am secretly in love with them, whatever. I hadn't drank much in a while so when it did hit me, it was all at once and real hard. Well, artistic woes forgotton, I once again wander to the realm of romance, wondering if I can ever break up with my current victim, and if after that I can stay single for more than a week. I mean, it's not like I'm some kind of whore punk, I don;t sleep with them all, but like I've said before, dating around is just how I get to know people, unfortuatly for those who fall for me.

I want summer to arrive. I want to go to concerts and get sloshed and stay up all night and sleep all day. I want to wear a bikini and tan for the first time ever with my sister, and go to the beach and ride rollacosters in the blistering heat. I want to eat icecream soup and sit on my roof at night, alone with nature and a cancer stick in hand. I want to be free more than anything, and for me, summertime is the closest to freedom I've had so far.

California, I hope I reach you someday.

-Hathair