Late Night Delirium

July 30th, 2009


I'm in a rambling mood. Thank god for auto spell check on here or else this would be completely illegible, my typing and vision AND perception are terrible at night. You know when you stay up really late and it's similar to being high? Not quite as great, but I just feel all these things at once like... dinosaurs. How did they piss? Do I have to piss right now? I think I do. Be right back.

I'm back, I went outside to smoke too, just a quick drag before my dad got out of the shower. I went into this cool pet shop today, they had rats for way cheaper than Petsmart does. I wonder if it should be said Pet's Mart or Pet Smart. Probably the latter. I watched American Pie also today, a weird movie. Oh! And my long-lost half sister Trisha contacted me yesterday, I'm really excited, I hope she can come up from NC to visit soon. You know what I hate? Acne. I fuggin' hate acne so much. I really hope the birth control kicks in soon to kick it's ass. So tired, blurry screen.. I wonder what tomorrow holds in store.

It was a good day.

-D-F!zzle

Iced Coffee & Cigarettes, Thunderstorms & Siamese Cats

July 28th, 2009


Well I did a few cool things today. I made homemade Salsa and Spaghetti sauce. Both turned out wonderfully, I was immensely proud of myself. I've mostly been thinking and cooking and smoking and writing. Just a bit ago it started thundering so I sat on my front porch with of course, iced coffee and a cig. My three cats, Pandora Ellie & Zach hung out with me. Zach is a Tonkinese, a similar breed to a Siamese. With each gentle flash of heat lightening it illuminated my road, it's such a surreal lighting and makes everything eerily beautiful and dreamlike. I'm currently working on a story, and I'm very tired so my blog will be cut short tonight. Peace & Love;

Danielle Renee

It's So Beautiful You Want To Cry

July 25th, 2009

Over the past week and a half I have seen and done a so many amazing things. I've experienced life in a way I feel few other people have, and I want to share in as much detail what I have done and try to describe these incredible feelings I've had.

The first event was MEAC, Middle Eastern Alateen Conference.

Well we ride all the way up to Front Royal, a long and uneventful drive into the foothills of Virginia. I am excited and nervous, anxious to meet new people. We arrive, I get out of the van and someone walks by. "Hi! What's your name?" he says to me. "Uhhh....Hi, I'm Danielle?" He goes "Danielle! I'm Daniel! Nice to meet you!" and I receive a warm hug. Wow. Not having been there one minute and I am already being greeted like this? Feeling at home already I easily started talking to everyone.

Then I met Cole Barnes. I was drawing a mushroom in chalk on the pavement, a dark skinned guy with a funny afro walks up, says hello, and asks if I'm a pot head. I said "Sure, I smoke. I've never done that before though." I gesture to the shroom and stand up, he also gives me a hug. Little did I know he was to become, very quickly, a dear close friend.

There were meetings and activities and free time and late nights and music... but the one absolute thing that stood out was a particular workshop. I am gazing unknowingly at my schedule, I ask Cole "What is this 'Unconditional Love Workshop' about?" he smiles at me and says "You'll see. It will change your life." Huh, now I'm thinking to myself; who can I squeeze this secret out of? And you know what? I asked everyone, and not a single person who had been there before would tell me. So naturally when it came time for the UCL workshop, I was very excited and nervous to see what would happen.

We enter a dimly lit auditorium, the whole 55 of us kids, the board at the front on the stage with speakers and a stereo. They tell us to line up, then give us numbers; 1 & 2. 1's go to one side, 2's to the other. Now my mind is reeling. Group 1, the group I'm in, goes to the middle of the room and everyone stands spaced out, eyes closes and arms at your sides. Slow, meaningful music begins. Group 2, anonymous and also silent walk among us. I am standing with eyes closed, when I receive my first hug. After that, it was hug after hug after hug, and unless you've actually done this, you can't begin to imagine why I cried so hard that day. Everyone did, it was so incredible. I will never forget it as long as I live. Getting so much love without having to give anything in return.. that's what it's all about. And since this, I hve been practicing UC Love every single day.
After the switching back and forth of the groups, hugging and being hugged, we all talked and shared about how we felt. One girl said these words; "I never thought I'd actually see something so beautiful it made me want to cry."

The dance that night was really fun, except I had been wearing a nicotine patch and threw up a bunch of water, thus making my group leave an hour early :[

The next day we said our goodbyes and came home, a very long and boring ride back left me completely exhausted and ready to sleep for a few days. Only my mom's B-day we went to see Harry Potter instead of going to the meetings. It wasn't very good. Oh well.

Well, then I basically decided, hey! I'm gonna go to Warped Tour with Lizzy. So I did. Cole and a few other people from MEAC were there, and some others I knew. We had a wonderful time, walking around, spending loads of cash, hearing the multiple bands play, and smoking jusssst a little weed ;3
The next day we went to the beach nearby. I haven't seen the ocean in such a long time... it was very surreal for me. The vastness of it.. the sheer volume of the waves crashing and the water pulling on your feet, I've never felt more at home. It really firmed my decision to move to So Cal, or even VA Beach. The boardwalk was pretty cool too, and I attempted body surfing. We ate at The Jewish Mother, and I finally got home at about 10:00 pm.

And the whole car ride home, watching the sky and clouds, all the colors and the music blaring in my ears, I did cry a little, just a little. Just because it was so damn beautiful.
I love my life.

Peace.

-Danielle

Alateen Adventures & Looney Toones

July 15th, 2009
My momma's B-day! 46!



This entry is about what I'm going to be doing soon, and about today, and about yesterday. In that order.So!

On Friday, 12:00 pm I am leaving for Front Royal, Virginia to a conference called MEAC [Middle Eastern Alateen Conference.. I think] and I'll be there until Sunday. It suppose to be really fun, lots to do and lots of other kids my age, and up, and down. There's going to be a dance from like 11:00 pm on Saturday to 2:00 am, a Rave, which I am extremely excited about, my sister and I are bring glow sticks and dressing to impress! Now, today;

Well it's my mommy's birthday, we celebrated by playing Mario Party 5 basically all day [she adores that game] && buying a delicious array of cheesecake... oh, such a wicked indulgence♥

Then just a bit ago we went up the road and across the highway to see if there was a different Alateen meeting at Ivey Methodist, but alas there was none. We playing on the playground when, holy sheep! My sister spots my grandma's car turning onto our little road. We panic, thinking she saw us and run silly and screaming behind a bush, and then they send me home to see if she saw us. I got here, she didn't, she left. The end.

Now yesterday/ the day before♥♥

On the 13th, I started dating my good friend John Looney, he's a super sweet and a real hippie at heart, much like myself. He came over and we watched Saw 5 and well that's about it, but I'm supposed to be going to a Hooka Bar in Richmond with him next week, so that sounds like uber fun. :]

Basically, I'm grateful for a so-far easy going summer and I anticipate all the good things seeming to head my way. Peace out!

Flirting With Sunlight- My Mini Journey

July 10th


So I'm in the car on the way to my Grandmother's river cottage on the Rappohanok river, we've been going here every summer since I was 1 month old, at my parents wedding on my grandpa's old boat, the Queen Bea. So, point is, it's July and the sun aught to prime today. We'll be passing through Mechanicsville, hometown of my favorite performer and idol, Jason Mraz. We pass the high school he went to and everything, for a fanatic like me it's very thrilling. I'm currently listening to his tunes, zooming down the highway and decked out in skimpy bikini and peace-loving garb. I always find it interesting the people you see on the road, as I've said before, their expressions and car styles and such. I would do my wave-and-enlighten routine, but with my grandmother driving she may get distracted and kill us. My grandma just announced she wants to write a book, which is a very interesting thing for her to say, kind of out of character. But I told her since she can't use a computer very well, I'd gladly dictate it for her. I think that would be very interesting and fun. We just passed through Richmond, observing the beautiful skyline. It's hard to think of a city as it really is, so full of crime and grime, when it looks so amazing from afar. There are planes from the local airport going over us, were now jamming to Hellogoodbye and chatting about getting burned int he sun, so exciting. I wish I could go to the ocean, I want to learn how to surf very bad now. Blair promised to try and learn with me, how sexy we'll be in our wetsuits and riding the waves with all the macho beach boys! That's all for now, I'll write another paragraph as we continue on this mini-journey. Over and out!

We have now arrived at the river cottage, and I've already been in the water and back. I'd like to briefly describe the rest of the journey here. We passed through Mechanicsville, passing Lee-Davis High School, and I told my grandma again that's where Jason Mraz went to school. I also pointed out what I think to be his Dad's house, she asked "You want me to stop there on the way back?" I just about blushed myself to death, NO! I cried, that would be too creepy fan girl of me, and I know I'm not that kind if fan. However, my imagination of course took it and ran, creating every single scenario that could possibly lead me to meeting him. Pulling up and asking to use the bathroom? Breaking down in front of his house? Would this incredible man be there, chillin' with his dad and I get to glimpse him? It was all just such wild, silly scenes I am prone to. My Grandma droned on and on and on until we finally arrived, Rachel and I unpacked quickly and headed to the peir to tan, then we swam briefly and showered, now I'm typing this and eating my lunch of Oreos. I feel so at peace here, if I never make it to California, maybe a little cottage here would be a fine replacement. Maybe. My day dreams and updates will continue, I will be back with more stories a little later on. There's no connection or phone service here, so I'm basically free of distractions, except the newest edition satellite TV. Mmmmmmusic on the top' will be my only salvation in the long restless night to come. Tonight as soon as it gets dark, I plan to go out to the water and swim by myself, gazing at the stars and bio-luminescent jelly fish the light the night. Peace out!

We went back out very quickly after the last entry, this time swimming and getting extremely burnt. I mean...ow, it's been a while, but I'm happy. I consider it a precious souvenir. Rachel and I took a walk down the beach as the sun began sinking into the horizon, we already dressed and walking slowly down the long beach at the end of the cottages, eyes stealing glances at the sun, flirting with him, blushing red, literally, in his glow. I felt much connection spiritually to this tiny beach, strewn with drift wood and edged by a clay back and a field of corn, lots of dangerous Virginia creeper and poison oak, shells and sand. We took fabulous pictures and had a really great sister to sister chat. We came back after a bit, ate dinner, watched tv, went back out with the neighbors for a bit, and now I'm back yet again. I'm glad to be here, and glad to be going home tomorrow. By the time I actually post this, the whole experience will already be over, I'll be at home in the air, playing oblivion and nursing my raw skin. These are the days of my life, I will record and cherish them, much as my grandmother is planning to do with her life's memories and triumphs. Life is full of... of so many things! There is much to be grateful for, and I am grateful for the ability to BE grateful, I hope someone somewhere feels me. Ttyl.


July 11th


After creating a pillow fortress in our attic last night, Rach and I went to sleep and awoke this morning around nine, I myself stiff and tired, but at least a little less sun burnt. I ate some breakfast, smoked two cigarettes, walked the beach and kissed the water goodbye. We'll be leaving in about an hour, I am very tired and can't wait to get home. I crawled across the attic floor to reach this computer, the little pink clock in front of me is ticking with a loud, monotonous cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck... reminding me now I have to make haste and do the dishes, clean up, and bring my things downstairs. Pardon'.

My back hurts, my skin is tight and hot, and I'm sitting in the car waiting for lift off, towards home and a nice long smoke. My thoughts are constantly shifting to someone... I want to see them. I can't wait to go home.
Our last little escapade was to go over to Wheelan's marine across the road and scoop up jellyfish with a net, placing them in a bucket. Inside the boat marina, me Rach, Emily, Ariel and Julia, and Mocha the dog ran around frantically on tiny paths over jelly infested water, when we all heard a very loud splash. Everyone thought one of us had fallen in, but it ended up being Mocha, we were still terrified, so we led him around the marina and onto land.

My grandmother just got in the car, we are ready to go.

July 12th, Home again

I'm re reading and posting this now, I've been resting and cleaning today. I want to see someone tomorrow, anyone. I'm a little tired of sunbathing for now, although swimming in Buffy's pool could be fun. I'll be tuning in for more of my adventures... when I have some.

Au Natural [Ouija Board!]

July 6th, 2009

Hellooo all, it's been a while. I've been having a little better days, first of all I'm currently [as in right at this moment] dying my hair back to brown, my mousy natural color, as to never have to dye it again :] Aaand, a few days ago, I made my own Ouija board and tried it out, scarily enough it worked. I asked the spirit a couple things, found I'm reincarnated, I lived in Isreal, and Blair was my friend in a few past lives. Also, the spirit said her name was Dzam, and she died in 1928. I'm fairly convinced in it's authenticity, but my sister who did it with me, isn't, she thinks I pushed it. Oh well, I probably won't be doing it again for a long time, just to be extra safe.

Other than that, not much is going on. I went to Yorktown beach on the 4th, my dad dived for oysters and we had seafood. I'm having Alyssa over today, Blair tomorrow, and Looney Wednsday, ha ha. That's about it, peace.