The Tree Of Life

April 29th, 2009

I'm actually writing this a day before I'm posting it, because my internet is down and I need to vent. My mom told my dad about the swine flu thing that's going around, and he decided to make a huge, non existent deal out of it. First he started wailing on my sister and decided to force her to eat meat again, then got on my case for getting her started on it a whole fucking year ago, then more on me for my grades, then back to Rach, all of this over and over and over. I felt like passing out, like I was just a tiny spark inside myself, drifting in and out of existence. Then it got even worse, because Rach Mama and I were talking about him after he went outside, but he stopped at the door and listened in, then came back in and yelled at us all some more. I mean, good god. He's all like "I should have beat your ass for showing her that video" and "Do you want her to catch swine flu and die because of you? How would you feel? Go ahead, don't take ecchinasia [sp?] and die, see if I care. One less mouth to feed." Yes, my own, biological dad said all that to us today, just because my mom mentioned something in the fucking news.

In other, more interesting news, I doodled a tree on my calf and foot today, and I am seriously in love with it. I want it to be my first tattoo, the tree and it's branches on the front of my leg and the roots twisting down and across my foot, ending almost between my toes. I want it to represent the tree of life, my way of showing how I am rooted to mother earth. It's a very deep thing and I feel like I just have to get it done, you know? Almost like it's already there, like it's a part of me- I felt creative on my part, although I'm sure someone somewhere has probably done it before.

I am very tired, and even though I know I have more to say, I'm going to leave it at that. Goodnight, adieu, aloha, sweet dreams.

-Dee.Ay.En.Eye.Ee.Elle.Elle.Ee.
(D A N I E L L E)

Hide The Rum [Be Yourself]

April 27th, 2009

It's been a while since I was able to get on last, my connection was temporarily down and I've been very busy. I'm on to converse about my recent activities and some moral beliefs I'm setting into place.

My Japanese teacher sent home a letter about my D+, and my dad got to it before I could, so I was in trouble. I now have to make up all the work I didn't do, and have them signed and what not. He bitched me out for nearly 2 hours on two separate occasions, and my mother for 1 hour a totally different time. One minute he tells me he could care less about my grades, and the next it's the fucking Apocalypse. Anyways, I now how to craftily edit my report card to avoid retribution for my two F's, and I already begged all of my teacher's not to call him, I was very honest.

I beat two of the three main quests in Oblivion this week, which was seriously satisfying. Feeling accomplished, I now actually desire to do more physical fun, like riding my bike again and cleaning my room :]

This past weekend we sprayed for roaches [disgusting, I know] and left for the day for Henricus Park again, this time me with Ky and Rach with Abby. When I was getting mt room ready for my dad to come in and spray, I had to hide my liquor bottle collection somewhere else, along with my incognito asktray and cig stash. My dad wasn't there with us for the first hour we were, then he joined us after spraying.. He liked Ky well enough even though he doesn't know were dating. I like Ky...a lot. Kyiros Giovanni Courton... It's so fun to type that out. I also got a good but of sun by taking advantage of the recent 90 degree weather streak, as soon it will relapse into rain again.

Ah summertime,
it's heartbeat slowly quickens,
washing off the grey
and replacing it with day.


I wrote that on the spot just now. I think it sounds like a Haiku, maybe I'll edit it later on.

Now on to my heretical thoughts;

On Body;

I want to try and stope smoking, or at the very least slow down. It's become such an escape for me, a way to find a minute of peace in an otherwise hectic life. But I want to stay healthy, young and beautiful as long as possible, and it really is a bad habit.

Breasts;

I'll just be honest, they're not cute anymore. I was once over weight, and when I lost it, they just don't look good anymore, and that's sad seeing as I'm far too young for a boob job or anything. I'll have to find a natural alternitave for that somehow.

Waist/Skin;

Same deal, my waist is thinner but my stomach isn't tone, so I should try to work it out with some crunches soons, as well as try and build some strength in my arms and legs, if I ever hope to surf one day. Not bad for bkini's, either. My skin is riddled with stretch marks from when I developed instantaniously in the 4th grade. They're not as noticeable anymore, but sometimes I get self consious about them. My skin tone is improving with each outdoors activity, so at least I'm making some progress :]

Hair;

I'm conflicted on whether to go back to my natural mousy brown shade, stay bleach blonde, or maybe go a darker shade of blonde. Brown is natural and true, which is what I'm trying to be now, but blonde shades fit my personality better and since it's already bleached, it'd be harder to go back.

Personality;

As I said, I want to be more and more myself as I get older. It's hard for me because I get made fun of so often, and I take critisisim too seriously. I care way too much about what others think, and when I see a style or a tidbit of someone else I like, I automatically emulate them, but I want to kick that habit as well.

I want to grow up; beautiful, health, strong in mind and body. I want to be free more than anything, and I want to look good, and feel good, when I am ;}

Yours truely,

-A Teenager

"Oh How I Hate Thee"

April 21st, 2009

My day started out fun, laughter and jokes pretty much all day at school. It started raining again last block, and some friends made me a little down, so this day didn't end so swell. However, where I got home, my mom had written a poem about how much she hates my dad, and I've gotta say; I fucking love her to death.

Warning; All things said about my dad in this peom are completely true, and my own mother really did write this ♥

"Oh How I Hate Thee" By Joan

Oh how I hate thee

Let me count the ways..

Could it be your never ending

World of knowledge on any and all subjects?

Maybe your constant advice

On any given subject imaginable

Or perhaps your hour speeches

On what a normal sex drive is?

Or constantly wanting a blow-job

24-7!

Let's not forget the constant picking of your nose

And your lovely half hour dumps

What about the way you pick the dead

Skin off your toes every night

And let the dog lick them

Leaving your foot soup out for days

Until it grows mold!

The lovely way you walk around naked every morning

How about your grandio sense of self and

Your excessive need for admiration

I guess one of your best qualities

Are the ways you show your arrogance

And how you manipulate everyone around you

It's wonderful the way you over exagerate

All of your acheivements and how preoccupied

You are with yourself!

You are the most fucked up person

I've ever known

I hate your fucking guts

And hope you drop dead

Fucker.

Needless to say, my mom is my role model for lifeee.

Going to Alateen tonight with Ky :)

-Dani T.

Sleeping To Dream

April 19th, 2009



Last night I had two fantastic dreams. I don't recall what order they were in,but here's what I can remember;


One was about Jason Mraz, that I had met his dad in the army somehow and he took me to his house, except I was a full grown woman, and introduced me to Jason, who tried to kiss me at first sight before his dad stopped him. He tried to tell me he has some kind of disorder that made him do that, and then we started playing a virtual reality video game that we were inside of, which was like a mix of oblivion and a digital world, yeah... weird.


The second was me meeting the ever-hot Will Summers and kind of hanging out with him, how he very slowly warmed up to me and eventually fell in love with me, just little sweet things like how at first, even though he was very quiet at some party in my grandmas basement we were having, when everyone left that room he was laying on the ground and asked me to lay with him, and we just chatted, and other things. Somehow we ended up stranded in a jungle type place, where he got hurt and disappeared, and then re appeared like a year later and I don't remember after that. The jungle thing probably came from the fact that I watched Jurassic Park last night, and I have no idea from where he popped up. Oh well.


Today I mainly did body-maintenance. I didn't answer my phone much, I just wanted a relaxing, phone free day to go in with my fabulous weekend. I got a long hot shower, shaved my legs, realized I got a very nice tan yesterday, did a face mask thing, did a foot soak and lotion think, re painted my fingers and toes, lotioned my face and legs, and blow dryed and straitened my hair. I think I'll look pretty good tomorrow, and maybe I'll even wear a cute skirt or something. I can't wait to get my hair cut...I like my hair long, but at the same time, I need a change and I need it to be more easy to manage. I also watched Crossroads with Brittany spears for the first time today, and I was pretty good. It made me want to move to California even more. I'm putting together a plan...


And one last thing that occured to me today. If I really make my dream of moving come true, and I'm gonna try, then this coming summer will be the last I ever spend in Virginia. That's a collassal thought in itself... I almost dread the thought of it. I will miss this place, but in my heart I know what I need to do.

Goodnight.

I Made An Ashtray Out Of Mud

April 18th, 2009

I went to my grandmother's river cottage on the Rappohanok yesterday after school, and got back today. It's 90 miles from my house, which isn't all that bad. I passed through Mechanicsville, home town of my favorite celeb, and even passed the high school he attended :) It made me smile, to say the least.


We got there, and man it was beautiful, ran to the water and just stared, Amanda hadn't seen anything like it before, as much as she's seen, and she'd never even been fishing! So, we dug up some worms and threw in, but no luck on either day we tried. We walked up the long beach at the end of the point, drawing in the sand and smoking, since we had to be away from my grandma. Amanda has a form of cancer that is causing her to go blind, and aside from that she is a brilliant artist and creative person, like myself, so when we found a huge deposit of clay, we made ask trays and brought them home, along with some river sand and little colored pebbles and shells.


The downer of the whole trip was that it was supposed to be just the three of us, me Grandmama and Amanda, but my evil aunts and their husbands showed up unexpectedly, and since my family is the outcast group and they all hate us, I got ignored and looked down on a lot, but I didn't let it phase me too bad, I wouldn't let my sourpuss fake ass brady bunch of a family ruin my time. No pictures for the internet, just fond memories and a little sun.

Yours truely, Danielle

Clepto-Mania

April 16th, 2009


I stole 5 shirts and a pair of shorts from goodwill today. I like clothes, and I need summer stuff. I haven't written in a while... I've been pretty busy. I want to say that I am really falling for Kairos Giovanni Courton, and that he is the peanut butter to my jelly.


I steal a lot... some say it's a bad thing, and I suppose it is. I don't get many new things, but I do realize I do it often, and it's quite addicting. I guess it's just too damn easy.


Not long until school is out now.. I excited for summer and stoked about being a senior next year, as long as I pass enough classes this year. My dream of moving to California is becoming so real and vibrant, it's like a technicolor wonderland materialized in my brain. Not that Cali is like that, that's not what I'm saying at all, but more that I finally have a real goal and I'm going to make it happen. That's the beautiful part.


I'm going to my grandmother's river cottage after school tomorrow with my friend Amanda. I'm happy about that too... so I'll write about it when I return.

Love, Miss Danielle Renee Temple

Eating At 3:00 In The Morning

April 13th, 2009


I have no idea what things I have forgotten to write down the past few days. I in all honestly forget about what I do from one minute to the next. Last night I went to Blair's, kind of a last two days of break blow out, she dyed my roots for me and half drowned me in the bath tub.. Then Jamie and Josh came over, and we watched TV till 1:00 then snuck the boys out [they were suppose to leave at midnight]

Now I'm at home, trippin on some pain meds and feeling so good, because I'm setting this chill atmosphere with some Jason tunes. Anyone who knows me knows I can't resist turning him up when were smoking up, or drinking down, or whatever. Like he says; open up your mind. Even if you don't do mind altering drugs, you just got to see the things around you. The world is big, no matter how small.

Peace! And Happy Earth Day ♥

-Danielle Renee

Guess What? Chicken Butt.

April 9th, 2009

Finally, a blog I didn't forget to write. Mainly because I'm wired on energy mints and adrenaline spillout from today, can't sleep!. So, from top to bottom, here's what I did;

• Had a creepy sex dream about my ex Austin [I died a little]
• Woke up and went to Pamplin Civil War Historical Park with my grandma.
• Went back to her house for food.
• Went shopping with her and bought/stole---
• New cute sun hat- purchased
• Super skinny leapord print blue jeans- purchased
• Marvel heroes tee shirt- stole
• Black and white flip flops- purchased
• Blue plaid jacket- stole

On stealing;

I am pretty poor to be honest, and I occasionally steal for survival [meaning food and drink] and when I outgrow or outshrink my clothes, I sometime take those too. But only if I can't afford them, I buy as much as possible. When I one day aquire a job, I will stop.

Then I;

• Came home and went to neighbors for a while.
• Came back home and ran to store again.
• Bought my dog a chicken squeky toy.
• Came home and watched Shrek 3 and watched Coffee [dog] destroy toy.
• Came in here ans got online :D

Now it's 9:34, and I'm chatting with dear Jamie and new Cali friend [met on Gaia last night] Adrian. It was a very enojyable and mild day, and I hope the rest of my week stays this relaxed.

DANI; DO NOT FORGET! DO YOU FUCKING ENGLISH PRJECT BEFORE TUESDAY!

-Dani :P

Word Of The Day; Bullshit

April 7th [continued] & April 8th, 2009

A little backround info;

My mom was once a drug addict, but she has been clean for 7 months alchohol and 12 months cocaine. She is still in a drug rehad program called Dual Treatment Track [DTT] where she is drug screened 3 days of the week and every other weekend [each time she 'level's up' in her book she gets less days to go in, so far she's gotten two off] so she can stay clean and sober. Well, she also drinks a shit-ton of soda.

Well, after the extreeeemely long morning with my dad [getting my birth certificate and waiting for him to finish his computer class] I come home and my mom and sister are all upset, and they proceed to tell me and my dad that my mom's pee was too diluted, meaning they think she was trying to flush her system, and now she has a sanction and will possibly serve jail time for something she didn't even do. Needless to say I was extemely upset, so I cried a lot, of course, and it was gernerally justan awful day. I'll write more, later, because I'm in a rush to get to the store. Peace,

Dani

Spring Break Day ???

April 5th, 6th, and 7th, 2009

Well I didn't write the other day, I just kept forgetting. I honestly can't remember a single thing I did on the 5th, and yesterday all I did of any signifigance was play Oblivion like, all day long. Today, however, I am currently writing to you from a YMCA lounge in Richmond. What am I doing here? My dad is taking an introduction to the computer class. Well, they have free wireless here and it's nice to have such a strong connection for once, I can acctually get things I want done on this laptop, I don't have to wait for a song or video to load, and this is a very comfy couch :)

The reason I came with him all the way up here today is that we are going to Vital Statistics to get a new birth certificate for me, so I can finally take my learner's permit exam, seeing as I'll be 17 in 2 months it's about damn time.

In other news, my friend Caleb is a phototographer/web designer/tee shirt maker? He's buying and dying his own cotton V-necks and he wants to sell them, and he asked me last night to be the female model for the site he's setting up. We talked for a long time on the phone, it was nice to chat with him, because before that we hadn't been all that close. So, the male model is my former-senior crush Morgan, and I think it will be a lot of fun :)

Last thing I wanted to log is that I had like, 2 dreams in a row with Caleb in it, and I don't remember the second, but the first was pretty funny so I'll write it down like a mini-story.

We were riding on the bus to Thomas Dale, sitting across from one another. We were both wearing very colorful hoodies, and he looks over at me and asked "Do you want to turn back time for a day?" so I said "Sure, how?" He replies "Turn your jacket inside out with me." So we did, and we morphed into like, 5 year younger selves. "Oh my god! I didn't think that would work!" he exclaimed. "It's just for a day right...?" I asked precautiously. "Uhh I acctually have no idea." He admitted, so we then arrived at Carver Middle, since it was five years earlier, and parted way in an intensely crowded hallway. It was really hard to find my first period class, and when I finally got there my current History teacher, Ms. Pace was my teacher, so I told her "Your going to be my teacher again in 5 years." and she got mad and sent me to the office, and on my way to school slowly turned into Ukrops, and all thew employees were dressed up like broadway and started a store musical, whipping me all around and all over, and then it got REALLY weird and all the meat products in the store started planning to attack and take over, jumping out at the employees and chasing me to the school/store office, where I jumped outside the doors and it was the Southpark Mall parking lot, where the dream ended.

Wow.

-Peace?

Spring Break Day 2; Fun In The Sun

April 4th 2009,

Surprisingly, after such a fantastic day I just feel empty and depressed. I guess I'm getting ready to [menstrate! augh!] so maybe that's why.

We went to Henricus Park again with Blair and Brittany, Ky was supposed to go but he never answered his phone, oh well. We'll be hanging out tomorrow. I wore a bikini top and little shirts and got loads of sun, I'm very pleased with that. We caught about six small fish and put them in my bathtub when we got home :D They're dead now, and we'll proably eat them tomorrow, but it was fun while it lasted.

We took a lot of pictures so when Blair uploads them I'll proably put some on here tomorrow. I'm extremely tired from walking and stuff for like, 5 hours.

I am so insanely happy the sun is back. I missed it, I needed it. I needed this break like an addict needs it's drug, it was devestating not to have it. It's here now, summer just peeking around the celestial corner, and I couldn't be more content with my life right now if I tried. I just appreciate the small, good, things, dismiss the bad and keep on going, day to day, living my life to the fullest.

I am alive! -Dani

Marvel Marathon- Spring Break Day 1

April 3rd, 2009

A slow and boring day at school, ending with Spring Break Balloons all over the parking lot and I come home to a beautiful, sunny spring day. I've been watching all the marvel movies I own, currently on Ironman [my personal favorite]. In order I have seen; Catwoman, Batman Begins, Spiderman 1 2 3, Hulk, The Dark Knight, Xmen 1 2 3, and now Ironman. Yaaay. Brittany [BFF] staying the night, and I realllly have to clean my room bad.

My dad should be gone suring the day alot this break, so I'm hopeing to get either drunk, high, or laid at least once, just to be totally honest. Ha ha. Well, that's all for this day. Hopeing to have some fun,

-Danielle

Holly Is Hollying In Her Holly

April 2nd, 2009

Well, it was a slow and sleepy day overall. I am in the mood to state the obvious. My room is still messy, I should be cleaning up this coming spring break. My hair is so... unmanageable all the time. I still have that corsage from the Ring Dance. There are so many people in need around the world right now. Toilets flush the other way in the southern hemisphere.

So anyways,

In my gym class we have this ongoing joke about that girl I once mentioned, Holly Parker, a mildly-retarded bitch who faught my friend Erika 10 days ago. Angela, Amber, Meagan and me all make fun of her, don't ask me why. I guess you could call it immature, I won't lie, but I feel like we should get it all out of our system now before we become serious respectable working stiffs.

ANYWAYS,

We replace words with Holly, and it's pretty funny, it;s hard to explain. It all started with Shannon Norris last year when she made fun of her for being poor and weird, saying things like HOLLY IS...RICH?! I DON'T THINK SO! And that she floats because she can't afford gravity and yada yada yada. You get it. So, we call everyone and everything Holly for an hour and a half every other day, just because. Even the teachers, it's so funny, because they really don't get it. Were like HOLLY YOU! WHAT THE HOLLY? FLOAT HOLLY FLOAT! THERE'S A HOLLY IN MY HOLLY. And so on.

It's for reals spring now, not too cold and not hot enough. I may be going to my grandmother's cottage over break, possibly, and if I do I will definately be sun bathing, swimming, and chilling like hell. Ha ha, but if that happens I won't have internet for about two days. I'm pretty excited, it's a little beach village on the Rappohanok river that my family has owned for years now, hopefully we can make the trip without my dad :)

Well, not much else to say.

More obvious things;

I'm listening to my profile songs, The Cars and Jason Mraz and Matt Nathanson & more. I need to shave my legs. My dad is snoring really loud. Tomorrows friday!

Peace.

Thou Shalt Produce Spit Balls

March 31st & April 1st 2009

The 10 Commandments of Japanese Class;

1. Thou shalt rip up worksheets in plain veiw of sensei, and throw them away.

2. Thou shalt sniff through the nose any sugar products normally consumed through mouth.

3. Thou shalt not speak Japanese when directed to do so, you will go to hell.

4. Thou shalt produce spit balls of paper anf attempt to block out light over Pope Morgan's desk.

5. Thou shalt laugh when sensei is determined to PMS and bitch at us.

6. Thou shalt be sent from the class to the hall and be proclaimed saint of mischeif.

7. Thou shalt say religous figures names at inappropriate times, for this is SENSEI'S SENTANCE.

8. Thou shalt make fun of retards such as Peaks, Xavier, Anthony, and Ryan constantly.

9. Thou shalt find the rainbow wherever it may appear next.

10. Thou shalt create more inside jokes for future entertainment.

Well, that was from today. I'd like to back up and go over yesterday first.

Un eventful school day, not bad or good. Came time to go to Alateen and I was going to bring Ky but when I got to his house, he answered the door and he was extra-baked [sounds delicious right?] so he couldn't leave, but his mom said I could stay there so I skipped out on last night's meeting and proceeded to his room, where we sat, talked, played guitar, scribbled, and made out for 2 1/2 hours. Bliss. Pure Bliss.

Then today,

you see, I like Japan. I like the Japanese language [Nihon wa suki desu. Soushite Nihongo wa maa maa suki desu yo] BUT; I do not like Japanese class, as far as the learning part goes. Now, we few punk ass kids in the front corner of the room feel the same way; Pope Morgan, Saint Dani [me], Saint Caleb, and Shannon [soon to be saint]. So we have devised various methods of entertainment and harrassment [on sensei's part] for that hour and a half we exist there. Sensei is a womanly little Japanese man who is nerdy and annoying as hell. The commandments are basically self explainatory.

On Ky;

I really like him. I feel like..he's just the thing I needed. I mean, he's not perfect by any means. But he's got the right stuff, the things I need especially right now, in a guy, to help me get along smoother.

• He doesn't smother me with calls or excessive lovey dovey.
• He's foward but not too foward.
• He accepts me for me and we happen to be pretty similar.
• He's real hot. :)
• He's not stupid; meaning he can match my intelligence level nicely.
• He play guitar very well! ♥
• He can acctually kiss.
• His parents arn't intimidating or hostile.
• He likes animals like me.

We just get each other, it's that simple. And I am very happy.

-Love always, Hathair!