Redneck Undercover [Feeling Low]

June 24th, 2009

IIII won't worry my life awayyyyy...


What an fantastically rotten birthday. I'm feeling incredibly ditched. I thought I'd give people a little time, you know, to at least call today. No such luck. I was too far away from Earth yesterday to realize how suckish it was, really. My sister left for the night, no HB greeting. Dad said it once, the scarfed my brownies. Brittany and Amanda did call and come over, which made me stop crying at least. Blair didn't call, along with quite a few others. Ky called today with a HB, Buffy wished me HB three days in a row, ha ha. NO texts, a few scare messages on Myspace. I guess it was mostly Rachel's behavior that had me down, and the fact that Blair up and went to Florida, without telling me or calling or anything. I mean, all my exes remembered and not her? Jeez.

As for today, my sister was even more bitch-fest. She finally got home at 4:30 and didn't say a word until she screamed in my and my mom's face about an open can in her room. ..What?

I felt very redneck today. I'm 17 now, chillin at the pool smokin', drinkin', listening to country and riding home in the back of a huge red truck, sun beating down and smile on my face [until Rachel's glare broke my spirit.] Oh well.

I thought this year would be different... that someone would make it really special for me, other than my mom, gosh bless her soul.

Blowin' through the jazz band in my minddd...

Pearly Whites

May 26th, 2009


Today was the big day, I got my braces off exactly 3 1/2 years after I got them. I had a pretty fucked up mouth.

But they're so beautiful!

I feel completely new, fresh and mature. It's as if my body is finally catching up with my mind, melding into one, older, more unified person. The outside is starting to more closely resemble the inside, and despite a few shitty things about today, I maintained a positive and radiant attitude. Meaning I feel fucking great!

My mood may be attributed to many things; the imminent summer approaching, clean white & strait teeth to show off, the fact that for about a week I've drank nothing but water, the good solid and dear friends I have, my mom coming home in two days. Sigh, yes, life is getting pretty good right about now. The only question is, what must I sacrafice to have a great summer?

Forever the inquirer,
Danielle

Dancin' To The Jailhouse Rock

May 18th, 2009


Well, a lot has happened over the past few days. I got extremely depressed when my mom went into jail about 5 days ago, got extremely drunk at Jon's house, came home, fooled my dad [which was all but too easy]. I got banned from Brittany's house for taking one of her brother's beers.. which was super dumb, yes, but all's well that ends well, whatever that means.

I've been in charge of cooking, and I tried to make Chili my own way, but my dad is impossible to shop with, thus making me skimp on ingredients and substitute a lot, which I hated. Then we made me change the way I did the Chili so it turned out not so good.. ah but I retaliated, yes! I made Hawaiian Chicken.. in my room! I mixed all the ingredients in the safety of my room, put them in the pan with the chicken and everything while he was outside, and put it in as he came in. Sneaky Dani wins :]

We went to visit my mom in jail on Saturday, my dad actually bitched her out, in jail, and we hardly got to talk to her, it was awful. But we saw her today and it was much better, she gets out on the 29th.

I get my braces off in one week, I'm so excited!!

My cat Zac brought me a baby bunny and a vole, half dead, and I nursed the vole back to health and released it [after it bit me really hard, ow!] and the bunny was paralized so it died :'[

My friend Alyssa got some free tickets to see Saving Abel tomorrow night at the National, so that is pretty much all I'm thinking about, our mutual friend Skyler is driving. I had to tell my dad he was her 19 year old brother, and that her mom was going. Ha, lies. It will be really fun and I'm really, really stoked.

I'm really happy with my hair now.. it's a beautiful, natural color that is totally me, and it's very obedient nowadays, making me a happy Dani. Also, my tan is improving greatly, with weekly tan sessions and high quality, stolen tanning lotion.

Basically, I'm getting happier and happier as summertime approaches, and I just can;t wait to be...

17 forever.

Peace, nigs.

Drunken Lament

March 23rd, 2009

I've come to rely on this blog more than I expected. It's a good opptunity to vent and get out all my thoughts, I don't feel so invisible if I write on this everyday. Another passing thought that dawned on me, is that this, right now, is the only March 23rd 2009 that will ever exist. Wow, it just makes me want to make every day special, you know? Well, here's my today.

Got to school, had to see Jared coddling his ugly girlfriend like she's some precious stone. They do it every single morning, same spot, same time. I understand but..it get's a little annoying. I got a lot of school work today, so I'll be working my mental buttocks to the bone this week trying to pass for once. Well, I had some left over Passionfruit Parrot Bay from the weekend so I had brought it to school [yes I know, I'm dumb but I had to get rid of it somehow, lest my dad discover it]. Well I was trying to draw a high five in Art, and a lot of people made fun of it and said it looked more like praying, so I ripped it up and I felt pretty bad. Even cried a little, but I didn't let anyone see. So I say to myself, hmm, what do I have that will make it go away?

2 bottles of smuggles juices later, I stagger out to the bus loop, ranting on and on about not wanting to go home, and dealing with a massive stomach ache, enduced from chugging the shit too quickly without eating. No one could give me a ride today so I ride the bus, then get home to find my dad home again, unfortunately. Mama and I devise an escape plan to Food Lion so we can relax and I can smoke [it's so rough not being able to light up after 6 hours without], then I came home and played Oblivion for a few hours. When I finally decided to go over to my neighbors to do some homework type stuff, well I just got back, and it's 8:45 pm. I got some new pictures on there and I am temporarily internet-satisfied.

When I'm drunk I tend to be real honest. I usually call everybody up and just tell them; hey, this is how I fucking feel about you, whether it be that I hate them or I am secretly in love with them, whatever. I hadn't drank much in a while so when it did hit me, it was all at once and real hard. Well, artistic woes forgotton, I once again wander to the realm of romance, wondering if I can ever break up with my current victim, and if after that I can stay single for more than a week. I mean, it's not like I'm some kind of whore punk, I don;t sleep with them all, but like I've said before, dating around is just how I get to know people, unfortuatly for those who fall for me.

I want summer to arrive. I want to go to concerts and get sloshed and stay up all night and sleep all day. I want to wear a bikini and tan for the first time ever with my sister, and go to the beach and ride rollacosters in the blistering heat. I want to eat icecream soup and sit on my roof at night, alone with nature and a cancer stick in hand. I want to be free more than anything, and for me, summertime is the closest to freedom I've had so far.

California, I hope I reach you someday.

-Hathair